Suzy's -'Q's : Quotes, Questions, and other Q-ute Things by writer/journalist Suzanne Gehring

New Places, New Love!!

2010-05-04T15:14:00.000-07:00

I'm So excited!!
As I said I wouldn't post until finals were over and finals are Over!!
Well, my Anatomy final anyway...tomorrow I have a couple of quizzes to make up from my Comm class and I need to turn in that Theory paper which I totally finished and I have to say, I've very pleased with how it turned out! But sure, virtually over.

And with that comes the start of Summer!! :) At least for me anyway...even if it does still snow periodically (what's up with that anyway!) and the kids are still in school...but Summer for me!

I have Big Plans for this summer!!
Like today! I had my first day volunteering at an animal shelter!!! (I try to stay away from specs on here, especially when it comes to jobs...so if you want to know more, you'll just have to talk to/email me :) How Amazing!! What a place!! Everyone's super nice and the pets are super cute and the job is super fun!! - yup that's a lot of supers!

I work in the dog area because at some point in thinking of working there it hadn't crossed my mind that I'm allergic to cats and won't be working with cats. That's the first thing they asked when I got there...but I had planned to work with the dogs anyway.

So I started out by cleaning the stalls for the little dogs, removing all the "goo", putting in fresh clean bedding, filling food dishes! Then I moved on to the bigger stalls and cleaned those out, washed all the windows, again with the food dishes.

Then! I got to play with the most beautiful dog!! Bear, a big fluffy white Amazing dog! The people there said he was sad and won't really eat anything and his owner's sad that he had to leave him and is hoping to be able to pick him up again sometime. In the meantime I'm happy that I get to enjoy him! We went for a walk along an aqueduct next to a river, it was So beautiful! And the weather outside was perfect! I think Bear thinks he's a small dog or doesn't seem to care that he's not... he kept jumping up on me...I've got some very large scratches, but even more I was just happy to see him enjoying himself, running and playing, he's a beautiful runner!

Overall I felt something today that I haven't felt in a long time, something I feel that I ought to feel all the time...but in reality I think it's such a rare thing for most people to feel...or to at least notice feeling...and that would be Purpose.

...it's the best way I have for describing whatever it was I was feeling. I was working on something that had great purpose, something caustic and good and wonderful. You know, that spark that puts the extra bounce in your step, makes you sing all day and feel Happy!

I can honestly say that being a mom, working at the library, going to school, writing my novel all give me this feeling too, many things give me this feeling...there was just something specific about today and being in that place ...it was nearly overpowering and completely wonderful!

It's my wish that you, too, are doing something in your life which gives you such a feeling, or even better, many things! but if you're really not, cuz some people just haven't found that thing yet, then I say begin your Quest! Find that thing! Even if it means doing difficult things, like quitting the job you really hate, or moving to a different state, whatever it takes - believe me, it's So worth it!! And the best of wishes along your journey!

Sincerely,
Suzy

And The Sun Goes Down...

2010-04-21T19:11:00.000-07:00

I decided to hold off on blogging about a paper I'm supposed to do and actually do the paper instead...maybe I'll get to blogging about it later... if you don't know what I'm talking about or why, you should really read the last post if you haven't already - truly Amazing poetry!!

In truth I probably won't blog again until after this semester is over, which I Guess is like pretty much next week, and then there's finals the following week? EEE! I have to say this semester has been quite epic. Lets see what details I can recall...

Anatomy: Explaining to Lily about bone growth and why her legs are hurting, with demonstration pix from my textbook. Learning exactly what a brain aneurysm is just two weeks before one of my amazing friends has one! (He's doing much better, by the way, YaY for medical technology and amazing doctors!!) Studying for Days for a test just to end up with not a passing grade! (...story of anyone elses' life?)

Spanish: I can't talk about it. No. I really can't and yes it really was That bad! egh. Lets just say I get to do it All over again Next semester! (er...that would be as in in the fall!)

Interpersonal Communications: Watching the Family Stone for the first time. Watching a clip from both While You Were Sleeping and My Big Fat Greek Wedding! Listening to some country song and having the whole class be shocked I've never heard of it (Yack to country!! EwE! Really?) ((LoL sorry ...guess that'd be my East Coast side jumping out there.))

Critical Theory: (Aah Yes! My very favorite!) Reading, Learning, Discussing, Debating some of the greatest literary theorists of all time! Including Derrida, Foucault, Berube, Aristotle and Plato (who knew!), Levi-Strauss (only I still can't figure out the relation between him and the jeans...) ((and why are they all men?)) (((we discussed that point too and it turns out there were some women too...like...well, that might have been where I'd stopped reading))) ((((and no, I really don't think my professor will ever read this ;))))

Oh yeah...and then there's Life that happened too: moving to a new apartment... ...wow...either my memory really has become that bad or that's all that really went on this semester...quite uneventful compared to previous semesters! We Love the new place, by the way! Just delightful!

LoL Speaking of having moved, this may make no sense, but I think it's very funny! I met with my counselor today and I've only really been seeing him about once a month and in several previous sessions I mentioned the apartment I lived in and how I'd Love to move cuz it'd gotten cruddier and very neglected by the manager...
Anyway I guess last session I'd finally "officially" declared I'd hold off on moving till next year some time.
So in today's session, I don't even remember exactly how it came up...but I mentioned in passing something like: "well, and with moving to a new place and blah blah blah..." and there's this lengthy pause and he's looking at me and finally says, "so...I'm assuming when you say 'moving to a new place' you mean figuratively? You didn't actually ...move...?" and I answer him: "Oh yeah! Didn't I tell you?? I moved over Spring Break! It all just happened so fast!"

Anyway...Wow, are you Still reading? Alright! Well Thank you and Ciao for now till after finals!!
Wish Me Luck!! :) I'm Sure I'll Need It!!!

Sincerely,
Suzy

P.S. I think my crockpot bbq pulled pork is ready!! :) mmmmm yummy!! how exciting!

A Poem by Claire Conolly

2010-04-17T06:59:00.000-07:00

This is not my poem. One of my friends knows the person who wrote it and sent it to me after a significant discussion about language and how peoples' attitudes correlate with words... that what people think of something depends upon whatever that something is called or named, which is an idea I'm using for my Lit Theory paper. Anyway, enjoy. I'll blog more about it l8r.
Sincerely,
Suzy

The first time I noticed I was different
Was when Wade leaned over to me in
daily mass and said,

Look, white girl. The priest is about to eat one of your friends.

Up until that point, I was five years old.
Everything was technicolor. I returned
to class that day colorblind--things were
either black, grey, or white. I was
the only one like me in a room of 33. I
hadn't ever noticed. I had not yet felt
loneliness.

We spent the whole month of February
cutting out pictures of Martin Luther
King and pasting them across the room.
We learned about dreaming. I was glad
that he had saved me from slavery. On
the 28th, I raised my hand and asked
my teacher excitedly if March was White
History Month. I couldn't listen to the
birds chirp for weeks, everything I heard
sounded like laughter.

Eventually, I distinctly knew who was Puerto Rican,
Mexican, and African-American. This
mattered. I always wondered where the country
of Caucasia was on the map. If I found it,
I could show everyone where I was from. I
knew it would make me proud. This time,
however, I had learned not to ask any questions.

I wore two push-up padded bras over my
AA cup breasts from 6th to 8th grade.
I remember a boy asking me out one day
in 5th grade just so he could dump me in
front of the class, stating it was because I
"had no ass."
I bought bronzer and fake tanning lotion
and put it on nightly.
My classmates called me 'orange.' I decided
this was a step up; at least it was a color.

I didn't remember my skin ever hurting
Michael, at least not while I was in it. I
didn't know why he had a bat. I remember
the nurses hands, they were soft like my
mother's. I never noticed their hue, just
how they felt on my chin as she looked
me in the pupils. She concluded,

Concussion.

It was the nicest thing I'd been called in
weeks. She asked me what happened.
I remembered the way Michael's smile
struggled with itself, how the rage almost
overcame his satisfaction, and how the
conflict created a snarl in which the ends
of his lips upturned while he pressed
the center of them together conclusively.
I still recall how I reflected in his eyes-how I hated
that I could see myself so brightly, how
I didn't think to run or fight, just observed
that I needed a little more bronzer.

I told her I ran into the monkey bars.

When I finally entered high school and learned that
there was a thing called "white privilege,"
I wondered where I could get some. I resented
the other light-skinned kids in my class- they
were so oblivious, so clean, so entitled. They
expected me to wear their clothes, talk just like
them, have rich parents. They wanted me
gentrified. They would say the 'N' word when
greeting each other. It sounded like a swinging
bat.

I would see them when I looked into the mirror.
I would tell myself
I deserved it.

I Did It!

2010-04-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

I officially Unregistered for graduation today!!
And my relief outweighs my guilt!

So all that thought came down to a very clear and immediate decision!

I'm still looking at and considering summer classes. I wouldn't have to take math but I could take that awful computer class and creative non-fiction and Spanish conversations, worth one credit and the key to Not forgetting Everything I've learned thus far. Honestly I can't imagine taking a whole semester off...whatever would I do? ((everything and anything else :)) Well, I'm still just thinking about it; anything would seem lighter than the past two semesters. I have until Monday before I can register for those anyway.

In the meantime I have lots of homework to keep me plenty busy: an essay for Theory, an essay for Spanish - in Spanish (Ick!!), an Anatomy test and the usual Friday's test in Comm...all on or before Monday. Ridiculous. Even the teachers are talking about the end of semester not coming soon enough. Apparently I'm not alone in feeling that this semester seems longer than all the rest.

I think my blogs will become more interesting once school lets out too...they'll be about something more than just school...Lets see...what could that be?

I'll refrain from resorting to mentioning the weather, though it was Finally Beautiful today!! Wasn't it?? I took the kids and the dog and a friend and his dog to the park today. I used to envy people, watching them at the park with their dogs, wishing I had one of my own. There's something so serene and peaceful about dogs and kids and parks. It doesn't get much better, really :)

And here it is...I'm reaching the point of beyond tired, where I can't do anything more productive for the day...my brain seems to shut off and I spend the rest of my evening thinking it's too early to fall asleep but it's been too long a day to do anything else at all that requires more than lying in bed with my eyes open not falling asleep...maybe I'll actually go to sleep though! Bed at 10! A decent night's sleep?? Whatever would that be like? Bet I'd be able to get up on time in the morning!

Well then, there it is...that's what I'll do.

As an aside...This particular blog is completely useless ((aka very boring!)) and for that I apologize. I'm ever so suddenly very sleepy... and I'm now trying to make my blogs shorter as I realize most people don't have that much time to read and I don't have that much time to blog...

Cheers to you!!

Sincerely,
Suzy

Too Many Choices

2010-04-10T08:11:00.000-07:00

This is an idea which applies across the board,
one that I've always found less convenient rather than more.

I notice variety of choice especially at the store, 50 types of deodorant, 50,000 types of soap...
And lets broaden the spectrum just a little to choices of where to shop for all that deodorant and soap - grocery stores, or fancy stores like Bath and Bodyworks - and of course lots of choices we make depend upon things like our budget, our mood, etc. and different places offer different things, so sometimes choosing seems likable - especially when it comes to clothes, for me anyway.

Like just the other day I came across this store that I've almost made a point to never go into at all (no, not That one) This store had this different kind of dress hanging in the window - it really was gorgeous! And of course I bought it and it's now a new piece of variety decorating my wardrobe, tempting me with a different choice.

Sometimes choices have to be thought up too, like where am I going to wear such a fancy dress anyway? Now I 'get to' come up with various places or events that I can then choose from.

And then there's the internet, which of course seems like an infinite source for choices, Pandora being my newest discovery for choices of music. Isn't there a name for people who intentionally come up with new choices...No! Of course not! There are a lot of Different names for these types of people, not just one to choose from...

Maybe it's variety that I'm loathing...they go together yet are completely different...

But then there's the writer in me...and what would I do without all of these fun words to choose from, all this variety? Why, that's the very essence of literature!

Hmm...maybe I like variety, it's the initial process of actually making a Choice that I dislike?
((But I dislike being labeled 'indecisive' by anyone also))

Like Choosing what to do with my future. I have three weeks left of this semester and this semester is the key turning point to the rest of my future (or it really does seem that way) I've played with so many different scenarios in my head:

Graduate now - "walk" as they call it. If I do this I'll still have a few classes to take over the summer before I can actually get my degree - it was supposed to be just one class and so this is what I'd planned on, but now realizing it won't be just one class I'm left having to make a very crucial, high pressure choice - go with it, "walk" anyway, take the classes and try not to kill myself over the summer, or:

Take the Summer Off Completely! mmm that seems refreshing. Go back to school in the fall, finish out then or maybe spread those classes through Spring semester too and walk next year... this is the Same thing I've chosen Every year!! Really?? Am I Ever going to finish college?? Aah!
((minus the actual taking a semester off, cuz I can never seem to bring myself to do That))

I was going to graduate now, finish through the summer, get my degree... and then take a year off and start somewhere else next fall - I Was going to finish and go somewhere new This fall, or even last fall! but obviously I didn't factor in my emotional status and overall capability...or Reality! how about that? The reality of the situation...I don't like talking about "reality."

Is this what they call Senioritis? I think I remember being at this point in my life once before...like when I graduated high school (how long ago was that??) and I had to Choose which college to go to and what to do then... I made so many....k....lets not judge past choices, how bout that?

There are many other options I've played with in my head...like going coastal and starting all over in Maine (not a Real option or I'd have done this before now) There are So many things to factor into these choices, one mainly has been the excruciating rise in tuition which is about to hit and the downsizing at SLCC, making it more difficult to get into classes, and of course finishing my novel, which I really do want to do!

Lets breathe for a minute :)

I like the philosophy we've been talking about in Spanish. Don't look at the future so much because we tend to become paralyzed by the future, look instead towards the now...

S0 all Choices aside, what's most important and what needs to be done Now?
((I recommend rereading this line 2 or 3 times))

This I like. This I can live with! This is refreshing and good and I recommend taking it to heart, in at least one aspect of your own life.

And if you've read to this point, thank you for listening :)

Sincerely,
Suzy

Final Season, Final Episodes!

2010-04-03T20:53:00.000-07:00

The truth is, since Punky Brewster I've never had a favorite show, one that I'd dedicate hours and hours to, watching every episode, picking up little details, anticipating the next episode...

That is, until Monk. I purchased seasons until it got to be too pricey to own them all (though someday I plan on it) and then I borrowed them from the library...multiple times. Like now.

I've spent years refusing to pay for television, so I'm really not up to date on current tv shows, other than ones I hear other people mention and then I'm just curious because I have no idea what they're talking about. I don't see previews over and over on advertisements for the most recent movies unless it's on a DVD and even then I make it a point to skip right to the menu...I've realized I don't appreciate previews the same as other people do, generally taking the 15 minutes of previews at theaters as leeway for not missing the start of the movie. I resent anybody's summaries of movies - to me that's as bad as reading the back of a book (who does that!) Name one or two people in a movie and the genre and even that's sometimes too much.

I've also realized I have a very limited taste for movies. I borrow several from the library (since I work there it's just so easy!) that I never end up watching. I think I'll watch them, so I get them, but then they sit around the house as I review movies I already own, or sadly more likely, episodes of Monk. Maybe it's his voice...or Randy - I Love his humor! He's so pathetic, but Funny! - I just like playing it in the background while I'm doing anything else... but I've also realized I only really like watching movies I've never seen before if I have the time to pay attention to them without doing anything else, like homework or folding laundry or doing stuff online or writing - like I have time to write anymore - and if I don't have time to write, I certainly don't have time to watch a new movie...

But Monk! LoL I guess that's where my endless cravings for these candy apples started! I eat my candy apple watching a new episode of Season 8 of Monk! I lie in bed till two in the morning watching episode after episode!

Okay, in truth I only did that for two days because after the two days I'd seen all the episodes of Season 8, including the last two final episodes! That's right, they've canceled my favorite show! Aak! But I have to say, I do feel like they wrapped everything up So nicely! And unlike some people who love to summarize what they watch, I'll say nothing, other than - watch it yourself!

I realize there are plenty of shows that are far more well done than Monk, several shows that have a better final season or final episode, shows where the characters aren't as stereo-typed or ones that have more depth. But I Love Monk!

So I guess my question is, Why? Why do we latch on to such shows? Any shows? Why are there Trekkies and ...see? I don't even know, what's a show that has a fanatical following? CSI, Scrubs? Sex in the City! There's one that's popular (though in truth I think I've only ever seen half of one episode when I dropped by a friend's house - it's so racy!) Why do we allow these fantastical lives of characters to influence our own life? - and in so many ways!

My reasons for liking Monk, and now that it's all over what I've learned: there are lots of things, and those who know me even a little :) know what most of them are. But the one most influential piece of knowledge I've gained from Monk is the realization that my grandfather is entirely OCD! But unlike the people in Monk, who try to make him stretch and grow and don't quite put up with it so much and most importantly acknowledge the origins of his weirdness, my family dating back to the night my grandparents first met, has catered to my grandfather's OCD-ness, putting themselves out to satisfy his "persnickety" behaviors, accepting that his morning routine of dressing and showering has always taken him two hours, that he gargles for twenty minutes, that it takes him three days to pack a car for a vacation and 10 minutes to fold a towel. He separates his food too - or really just puts one type of thing on his plate at a time.

Throughout the years of my Monk watching I've gained a greater appreciation for Grampa's behavior, becoming proud of the novelties of having an OCD someone in my life, realizing exactly where my OCD-ness comes from. Where his behavior has frustrated and traumatized the rest of the family I even moreso find it endearing and intriguing. It turns out my aunt married someone just like her father! - of course! Isn't that what people do? :) and so I have two very OCD "Monks" in my family, no exaggeration. And it is true, everyone has A Little OCD-ness sprinkled into their personalities, but these two really are the extreme!

Even now I'm watching the final episodes again - with my mom this time because I've made her suffer through my Monk addiction for years now and though she's not as big a fan by any means, she is curious and mildly interested, enough to at least somewhat enjoy them with me :)

So who's the Monk in your life? Or if you're not so die-hard about it, what's your show addiction? Cuz everyone has at least one.

Almost a Year, Really?

2010-03-10T13:24:00.000-08:00

Wow! It's truly been forever since I've posted anything! I feel like I might do something to get my follower numbers back up and regain the interest of my readers :) I have lots of reasons for not posting but it really just all comes back down to one: blatant neglect. I'm very excited to say that at least now I have a new laptop that actually works! It's Gorgeous! And a reasonably stable internet connection, so I will definitely be online a lot more and just start making a point of posting more.

But maybe it's not quantity so much as quality! Boy am I learning to implement that theory a lot! Like with my kids for example, I've been feeling like I really don't get enough time with them anymore. I liked the salad days of being the stay-at-home mom, coaching the soccer games, playing with them all day, not noticing that I'm still in my pajamas and there's food in my hair... but now, well, they're in school, I'm in school, I have homework, they have homework, they have their social life, I have a social life (maybe...do I still? :) The point is we are often busy, coexisting, living our lives...and if it's this bad already!! (Lochlan just turned 6 and Lily will be 8 in a couple weeks!)

So I've decided that it's not about quantity, how much I see them, but quality - what the time is like when I see them! :) Am I really connecting with them? Do I really listen to what follows after "Mom!" ? And how do I feel at the end of the day when they've gone to bed? I'm definitely noticing the differences between the days I've really connected with them and the days I haven't...Like yesterday.

Yesterday I had every intention of connecting with them and we started out great! Picked them up from school, went to the grocery store, let them pick out stuff for a change, came home... Lochlan got Legos for his birthday - he's so into the star wars legos now! - and we've been playing with them most days after school for the past couple weeks. So yesterday was no different, but that's somehow where I got lost in the Qvs.Q of things... Building with Legos can be very lethargic... I was trying to put a big ship together (I've never followed legos instructions really before - when I was a kid it was build whatever however you want and I was the one putting the lego trees on top of the lego cars....) Anyway, I spent an hour in the 'zone' - or maybe it was three... I had to finish! We'd started it, it had to be finished....7:00 comes around, dinners waiting to be made, kids are off doing anything else and I'm still concentrating on the lego ship...

Yeah...not so much yesterday and that @#dam# ship still isn't finished, RaR! That one part I was working on for an hour fell completely apart when I was putting on the last piece...what a pain!

Two Lessons: One, don't buy your kids lego sets if you don't want to be the one building it; and Two, if your plan is to focus on your kids and you find yourself not, Refocus, and sooner than later...

HaHa! Speaking of which, they're waiting right now to be picked up from school! :)
Gotta Run!

New Additions!

2009-08-15T14:46:00.000-07:00

So, obviously this library job has kept me So busy, but I absolutely love it!
I shelve books, put books in order, make and distribute library cards and lots of other Sweet things that leave me surrounded by books all day! I love it! Did I say that already?? One more time! I Love it! My co-workers and bosses are fantastic and it truly is my dream job!

Among other things, I've finished summer semester classes, maintaining my 'fabulous' GPA :) And I'll be starting my second to last round of classes this fall, which is really the week after this coming one, and which will include more English and math classes and a Spanish class! Hopefully this time the language will stick with me, as French and Sign Language did not.

For the big announcements:

Lily starts second grade the day before I start school and Lochlan will be starting kindergarten the following week!! :) He's so excited! Lily's learned to ride her bike without training wheels and is now insisting on teaching Lochlan to do the same! So Cute! I remember learning to ride my first bike training wheel free - who'd a thought I'd ever teach a little person to do it!

In addition to our rat, Thasos, whom I love and who was named after a philosopher - roughly - we also have a little kitten, Hobbes (Calvin and Hobbes) who joined us about a month ago - someone was dishing out kittens at the drum circle, and how could anyone say no to that face! :) And as of yesterday we've acquired a dog as well!! I love him! He's the exact kind I've been wanting for years! A little gray terrier with such a mellow, sweet, fun personality! His story is Awesome too! He was a stray who happened to wander into the library whilst I was working and again, who could say no! :) I've named him Hugo (Victor Hugo) ! One of my favorite authors.

What a summer! Hope yours has been as enjoyable!

Moi, un Bibliothécaire ?

2009-04-10T11:40:00.000-07:00

So the absolute has finally happened! The Thing I've been working towards Forever! The Biggest news to hit my little miniscule-in-the-greater-scheme-of-things life has occurred! Are you ready for this???

I got the Job at the Library!!!!!!

I'm a Librarian!!

Or rather, officially a shelving-aid...I'm not sure what it takes to get to be titled 'Librarian', but I'm gonna find out really soon, lemme tell ya!

So no. I don't work at the Main Library, which I'm fine with, really, cuz the library I'm starting out at is much smaller and gorgeous and old fashioned and everything a library should be! Though I love the main library too. I'm working at a branch library that's about 5 minutes from where I live, so it's Perfect! And my official first day is Tuesday!!! YAY!!! I have a job! At a library! With Books! That would be a job With Books!! Seriously! Can life get any better????

School's almost over, another semester well done and wonderful which means I'll get to pick new classes soon, which I'm very excited about. I finished Chapter 7 of my novel last night!! YaY! And I have a job! At a library. With Books.

Okay, I'll stop now with that... if you want more specifics on which library it is exactly, contact me and I'll let you know. I don't like posting specs on here...never know who reads them blah blah blah.

So for those of you who don't know, this is pretty much one of my dream jobs. I have a list of three, maybe four, Dream Jobs: Librarian, bookstore clerk, working in a music box shop in Scotland, little hole in the wall place...uhuh... and Author/Journalist/anything to do with writing.

YaY! That's 3 of my four jobs I've actually been able to do now! So I'm not officially an "Author"...like as in had a book offiically published, but that'll come soon enough. Okay, so as I was saying, the backstory leading up to this job.

When I was 11 my dad took us to Maine for the first time, to a little tiny island which I immediately fell in love with, probably one of the most magical places on earth...and there's this building there, small and quaint, dance studio upstairs, concert hall on the main floor - if you can call it that - and a library on the main level, probably the smallest library ever. I can still remember how it smells...books mixed with sea salt from the ocean...doesn't get better than that! Does it? So my first time in that place I decided to myself, "I'm going to work here. I could be totally happy working in a library." And there it is! The dream I've had since I was 11 is now my real life!! :) Ooh! I'm getting chills all over! But that could just be my coconut rose smoothie making me freezing :)

Anyway, All is well in my world and I hope all is well in yours also.
I get to shelve books!!

Festival of Colors, Slams, and Fun!

2009-04-01T12:29:00.001-07:00

This past weekend was Awesome!

For the first time ever I went to the Festival of Colors at the Spanish Fork Hare Krishna Temple! It was Amazing!! I went with a couple of my friends and...okay, for those of you who aren't familiar with the festival: there was dancing and we fed the llamas and at 5:20 there was the bonfire and the throwing of the Color! Which is bags of food coloring-ed flour and/or cornstarch. There were roughly (supposedly) 15,000 people there and me and my two friends went somewhere in the middle of all of them - shoulder to shoulder crowd - and they threw their colors at everybody (we got there early but still didn't purchase color) so we got covered in color - and shmearing it works best :) After the color throwing, we danced for like an hour and had tons of fun and then went home. Only we didn't go home...

After the big festival event there was a big poetry slam at Baxter's Cafe. It was the biggest poetry slam of the year here pretty much. It determined the slam team who will go on to compete in nationals. A big group of my friends won and will be going on to compete in Tampa in August. It was all very exciting.

Other exciting things: I'm officially a member of the Phi Theta Kappa Honor's Society! My kids are older - I keep saying that, I just don't believe it... Oh! And it's April Fools Day today!! I might just get off with no pranks on me this year! Teresa, I still love the April Fools dinner you served those years back. Jello juice, potato meatloaf cupcakes, So Yummy!

Anyway, I think I should actually pay attention in my Philosophy class now cuz he's discussing projects that I guess we're supposed to do...

Birthdays! Birthdays! Birthdays!

2009-03-11T09:32:00.000-07:00

I'm going to stop feeling guilty for not blogging so often. Mainly because:

I've been getting serious work done on my novel! And Erik, I've been thinking about what you told me...something along the lines of how journaling, though important, doesn't get me farther along in my novel. I think as often as I once wrote in my journal is now as often as I work on my book, which is progressing in the most satisfying of ways.

We celebrated Lochlan's birthday last week! He's 5 !!! Amazing! It was So much fun! There was this one toy he'd been asking me almost daily for since Christmas. He had a picture of it which he'd carry all around the house and hung on to and occasionally he'd point to it and say, "Mommy, I really want that one!" :) I was super excited to be able to actually find him that exact toy and he was perfectly surprised! We had a small family party and good cake and it was So fun! Lily's birthday is in two Tuesdays, we can't wait! :)

And that wasn't the only thing I celebrated last week!! Congrats to my bestest Boston friend Emily (not to be confused with the author Emily :) She had her birthday the day before Lochlan (I tried to have him on the same day, he just decided the day after was better...) Anyway, she invited me to this awesome birthday dinner party with her brother and his wife and their new baby who I got to meet for the first time and lots of other people, including her boyfriend... who decided the party was a perfect time to Propose to Emily!!! So long story shorter, Emily's now engaged!! WoW!! And I'm so super happy for her! She's been dating him forever, so it was a long time coming. I was able to go with her to attempt to pick out a wedding dress - they were so pretty! And she's so beautiful! They'll be having the wedding in MA in May it looks like - good good good excuse for me to fly back there again!! YaY!

Oh yeah, and one more thing!! I just had my second interview with this library that I really really really want to work at!! Talk about my Dream Job!!! Seriously! I'll let you know when I get it, I find out the end of this week! There are three branch libraries hiring up here, so if I don't get this one, they'll send me over to the other one for another interview. But I think I'll get it...I hope I hope I hope! :) Wish me luck, anyway!

So, back to work on my novel! Spring break is next week!! - No School! Exciting! (Though my kids, I'm pretty sure still have school...)

A few more words, A little closer!

2009-02-22T14:44:00.001-08:00

So I didn't keep constant vigil over my blog at the Life the Universe and Everything conference (held at BYU) as I said I might. I was very busy surrounding myself with some of my favorite brilliant minds in literature, i.e. Tracy Hickman, Eric Swedin, Jessica Day George, James Dashner, Julie Wright, Brandon Sanderson, and so many more it would be impossible to list them all. It was so inspiring and exciting and Awesome!!

The panels I was on went very well, I thought, though I felt like I had to constantly remind myself of why I qualify to be a panelist. No, I haven't published a book - yet - but when it comes down to it, that's not truly what being a writer is about (though admittedly I have mixed feelings about this) Being a writer means seeing the world differently, hearing that voice describe the people and things happening around you as they're happening, making mental notes of things that would make great stories, being observant, albeit almost intrusive, on life. As Anna, and others, know, being an artist of any kind is very much like this.

And of course, the true benefit of any writer's conference, I have made significant progress already on my novel in the time that I was there! I worked on it periodically throughout the conference, and a lot last night after I got home. I finally wrote a new scene! I haven't written a new scene in far too long...I'm at the revising while writing stage, which is more difficult - and writers have their own takes on that process, but so far whatever it is I'm doing with it seems to be working very well. I'm excited about it, and when it comes down to it, isn't that what really counts?

Anyway, I'm really anxious to pick up where I left off with it last night. Just one thing, for those of you who attended the conference, it was awesome seeing you there and I'm interested in hearing your experience of it, so, as I say too often, leave a comment :) I look forward to the other upcoming conferences and seeing all of you there as well.

Until then, Write On!! :)

okay, so maybe for reals this time...

2009-02-18T12:19:00.000-08:00

My last post said I was back, back from a non-vacation...?
but really, being busy is my only excuse for the neglect of my blog...yet there are people far busier than I who still manage to keep up at least a little bit with theirs.

So what have I been doing...? Maybe I've been avoiding my blog because I've been avoiding Truth.
The truth about my life over the past year, the truth about what I've really been doing... (mwahaha :) In any case, what I haven't been doing - posting anything on here...again...is this just repeating my last blog? I don't even know...

But in any case, lets do a recap, and then I'll cling to my blog from here on and do regular updates like I used to just so as not to have to ever do another recap... and maybe most of you already know all this, so this will be very boring for you.

For reasons unstated, I've been a "single mom" for almost exactly a year now.
I'm still in school, with less than a year to go on my Associates of Science with an Emphasis on English (whatever that means)
I've put in my two weeks notice at wherever it is currently that I'm working, and so looking again for another job...there's a journey.
I'm writing for the SLCC newspaper - The Globe - under the alias of Tess Samuel
(my other writing name)
I'm deeply entrenched in the poetry society of Salt Lake (Salt City Indie Arts) - who all know me as Tess Samuel as well
I'm still writing my novel, more seriously than ever before
I'm still insistent on being a rock climber and I can't wait for good weather when I can climb and bike again

And, perhaps, an announcement...or something...

Almost exactly one year ago I attended LTUE, a conference at BYU, pretty much through which my start as an 'author' really 'began'...or maybe just began to seem real.

I met so many incredible authors and people there, most of whom are local, and a year ago, when I was there, I told myself - I belong up there, on the panels, with the speakers, someday I'll be one of them. Next year I'll be one of them. That was my resolve. So this year, it has actually happened. Yes, I will be a panelist at LTUE, with the great ones, Jessica Day George, James Dashner, Mette Harrison...

And I couldn't feel more inadequate...
Less qualified...

I've gone through all the emotions, absolute excitement - raving to everyone about it, extreme panic - what if I end up not saying anything? What if I have nothing to add? I'm not officially published yet! Countered and recountered with - but I am and I can and I will and it'll be amazing and great and fun and as with every conference I attend I'll be sad when it's over...as I know I've said before... and Denial, that the conference will ever actually start, that it's just taking so long to happen that it just won't...or something... but it will and it is and it's Tomorrow!!! WoW!

And after really doing some research and thinking and planning, today for the first time in days I'm truly excited about it again, jumping out of my skin excited and can't wait for it to happen!!

Hopefully I'll be updating my blog throughout the conference, mentioning breif happenings, or realizations, or whatever comes to mind - like usual.

Also almost exactly a year ago I conceived the idea for my current novel. And I've been working at it (albeit slowly) ever since. And in the process I have learned much and have enjoyed it greatly! and have hated parts of it, too, and wish I were done with it already and all the thinking that comes with writing a novel ...I'm in the middle - hmm, maybe it's time to scrap all of it and if I just start over, then it will be really great! yeah, all that.

But anyway, I've written a whole lot of poetry too, and have really been studying that and have found many friends with doing so. For more info or to see any of my poems, visit:
http://thegirlintheglasswrites.blogspot.com/
But that's almost as often updated as this one...something I will also work on upcoming.

Anyway...that's all folks! Till later this weekend, or earlier tomorrow, or something...

By the way, somebody please leave a comment, just so I know Anybody is still reading this at all...I feel like I'm talking to myself on here and it's really awkward... maybe you can tell that also... :)

I'm Baaaaack !!!

2009-01-12T12:00:00.001-08:00

The tricky thing about that title is, I was never really away...
Was December as busy for you as it was for me?? Holy Ba-G-Cow!
In a 'nutshell' (though we'll see how this goes) in the middle of November: I was laid off from my job, school ended and right away I was able to miraculously find two jobs to replace both of those. At the same time I was fortunate to have the loving family I have who bought me a car! (all of which I think I've previously announced)

So December was filled with: me working those two jobs - which turned out to be approximately ten hours nearly every day! 5 at one job, 5 at the other, or a double at one, etc. - me preparing for Christmas - me missing my two kids who spent most of their Christmas vacation with their dad - me waiting (and waiting and waiting) for school to start again - me handling other ridiculous events in my life (most of you know what I'm talking about) - me still finding time to rock climb, be a cafe junky, attend poetry readings, host parties at my place, start 4 new books, sign up for new school classes... and then some...

What I didn't do: sleep...eat...maintain sanity...post blogs...write my novel... (though I spent a lot of time planning and plotting in my head)

Craziness!!

And now: it's January! So I quit my second job, today is my first day of school!!!!!!!! -- YIIPPPEEE!! Can I just say Again how excited I am!!! YaY! (I'm actually in my Phil. in Lit class right now!) (blogging on my first day, nice, huh?) and yet still able to hold meaningful conversations with the professor! ooh yeah! -- my kids are back home and in school again, and I'm settling into my life, again, after even more hecticness...

So, other classes include: Math - again, same teacher, so I already know I've got it nailed! - Astronomy, and Rock Climbing... my current drama as I may have to actually drop that one in which case rethink my whole semester...life...self...I don't know if I can handle that... It's a long story, but apparently I thought I needed that credit and now I think technically I don't... egh.
If I don't take rock climbing it would open up time and room for any other class which is required and money would be better spent that way... nnnnnoooooo! (we'll see what happens dundundun)

Uhoh. I just realized I have a doctor's appointment and have to leave in about 20 minutes...
(This class doesn't end for another 40 minutes...) so yeah, I'll be leaving class early on my first day...great, huh?

Alright, well that's enough for now. We'll see how January goes. But you can expect more entries for sure, since I'll be online everyday now and in class everyday : )
Hope your holidays were enjoyable! Be sure to leave a post and let me know what You did in December!! (maybe the craziest thing, or what you did for New Years, etc.)

I learned I'm a Narcisist...by nature.

The Day After Thanksgiving

2008-11-28T10:30:00.000-08:00

I'm going to find out today if it's true that the day after Thanksgiving is really the biggest shopping day of the year. Translation: I'm going shopping today. Really I'm just going out to lunch with my mom, stopping by Barnes and Noble, of course (40% off coupon! Can't beat that!) and maybe a few other places. It's cold out and later, so maybe there won't be such a big crowd. What's wrong with crowds anyway? (ahem)

How was everyone else's Thanksgiving?? Did you eat all the turkey and pie you wanted? Do you feel like you don't have to eat ever again? (I do) Are you going shopping today too? Do you realize what this means??? Christmas is just around the corner and it's time to start shopping for Christmas!! OOh goodie!! That's fun shopping, isn't it?

So I got laid off from my writing job!! Can you believe it!! The economy really does suck! Budget cutbacks and whatever... but it's all good, cuz only a week later I've managed to find myself another job! Something totally new, totally Not writing, something I have absolutely no experience in: I'm now a server at a restaurant!

I don't know the rules for blogging, but I have this automatic tendency to stay as inconspicuous and unspecific about things as possible. So if you're wondering Which restaurant, message me.

So I don't actually start my new job until tomorrow night and I'll begin as a hostess since I don't have my food handler's permit yet. I feel like that's a real comfortable way of smoothing into the job, rather than jumping in and waiting tables...not that they don't train you anyway...

Um, yeah. Exciting. Well, it's the last weekend of NaNoWriMo...I think I did a total of 805 words...pathetic, I know. But that's 805 I didn't have before...right? Over this weekend I'm going to bust out a bunch of words. I've got no school papers (that 16 pager for film class is finished!) I've got no finals to worry about! (film final is Monday, but it's open book) So that leaves my novel! I'm determined, at least, to finish it. It has to be finished. Even if it's complete garbage. I will finish. Lets see what happens now that I won't be writing for work anymore!! Maybe with the lack of classes I will be able to get it all done before the end of the year. We'll see...

Cheers! Write on! Enjoy the shopping day! Put up those Christmas decors! Have a great time!! :)

Procrastination in Words.

2008-11-22T11:01:00.000-08:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking and what if I didn't do writing for work at all. Is that a confusing sentence? Okay. So my paid jobs are journalism and writing assistant. What if they weren't? What if I didn't write at all for work! Lets face it, all of my writing energies are spent on my jobs (and my personal journal, I know) rather than the thing I really want to be working on, my novel. And maybe I'm just making excuses here, but what if I found a job that had nothing at all to do with writing? Something not in an office behind a desk, either. Which just makes me miss B&N even more. But if all that were true, would I have my novel finished by now?

What if my job didn't involve books either? Something completely outside of the whole literary world. A mild stretch for myself, don't you think? I love the questions and possibilities...

In other news, I have a car!! My amazing family chipped in and helped me out and found me a 93 Honda with ridiculously low mileage! I'm very excited about that! Especially with the approaching winter. Now, I'm not anti-bike all of a sudden, of course. I assume I will still bike to places just for fun, but I think a car is a major requirement if you have kids. Especially kids in school. And, if you've noticed, gas prices have dropped significantly! Talk about great timing!

It's going to be weird. A whole change of lifestyle. I'll have to keep reminding myself I can go out now whenever I want and take the kids with me wherever I want. WoW! Now we'll have our 'outing' days again, where once or twice a week we'll go somewhere fun after school! (Barnes and Noble) My kids love the kids section...Okay, I love the kids section, of course! Or anywhere else. We've gotten into bowling lately. The kids love that too. No more borrowing the family car and having to time schedules appropriately. I'll have to rearrange my mornings also. Things will definitely be different and interesting.

The school term is coming to an end, which means it's getting to be that time again: choosing a new class schedule and reforming my life schedule, at least a little bit. No more math class every single day and no more film class, which I'm very excited about. I'm not big on watching movies, why did I ever think I would enjoy analyzing movies? Well, I don't think I did think I'd actually enjoy it, it just fulfilled two requirements at the same time. I have a 10-12 page paper due Monday on a film of my choice (Seabiscuit) I get to analyze that a whole bunch. (I only really started writing it up last night...talk about procrastination...)

Okay, so I've been reading the book instead and analyzing the differences between the book and the movie... not at all part of the assignment. But the book is so captivating! And speaking of the book, I think I'll go read that now, I want to finish it before the assignment's due...ridiculous. It's the only real cause of my procrastination.

Have a Supergood rest of the weekend!

Titles. Word Counts. Epiphanies.

2008-11-12T13:11:00.001-08:00

I had an incredible epiphany Monday night.
Monday night was the book signing for Emily Wing Smith's debut novel! She is awesome, her book is awesome, and the signing was awesome! Sara Zarr was there as well, though not to sign books. It was sweet!

I was standing in line, chatting with Sara, admiring all of the books surrounding me, waiting for my turn to see Emily when from out of nowhere the title of my book flies into my head and nests itself into my brain! It was amazing!

I love good titles. I love titles with double meanings and depth and weight. Like Without Reservations, brilliant title, in it's own right! But when it comes to my poetry and my novels, my personal stuff, titles escape me. I just don't really bother with them unless they appear on their own, or are required by a professor. I figure as far as any novel goes, if it makes it to the editor or to an agent, they will change the title anyway, so why bother?

This title appeared all on its own. It was really quite remarkable. Okay, so it's a title that has been lingering in my mind since Vegas. I first applied it to the poem I'd written there, and I really liked it for the poem, it fit perfect. It didn't occur to me one bit to connect it to my novel at all.

Until the book signing. And it was just Wham! That works! That's Perfect! I love it! I don't even know what made the two connect...I guess that's the bliss of epiphanies, you don't know how they happen they just do happen. And when you least expect them to.

All of a sudden I was shouting and waving my arms, "Oh my gosh! I have a title for my novel!" Like time and the space around me warped and -- it was so cool!!

So anyway. I've been riding on that all week. It just makes my book seem so much more real and more ...Real! I mean, I'm half way through! It has a title...the two just go perfect! It's as though I wouldn't have ever found a title until I made it to the halfway mark, and now I have and it's there and I just really have to finish it all now!

(((Only I spend my time updating blogs rather than adding new words...hmm)))

But I've come to the realization that this is not a novel to be rushed. I will by all means consistantly work on it, but I know once I've hit that 50,000 word mark I've only really just begun! The rewrites and the things to add to it and the things to take out will take care and time and patience.

But I'm on my way!! : )

Bowling Silliness

2008-11-08T13:28:00.000-08:00

I went bowling last night with a group of friends. I swear I've never had more fun bowling in my whole life. And I have been bowling a lot throughout the years. We bowled three games in a row and agreed that the first was a warm up and the second was more for reals. Unfortunately, as they say, if it were golf, I'd be a pro... The first string I ended in the 80's and the second was just pathetic at 55. I have this habit of putting a tremendous spin on the ball so it starts out okay but then veers off into the gutter. It sucks.

But the point is, that third and last game. What a flippin' blast! One person in the group had this crazy idea to just bowl silly. We rotated so each person got to pick a way to bowl and then the rest had to follow that way, like eyes closed, spin five times and then bowl, bowl backwards, bowl under one leg, etc. It was So Hilarious!

I have to say, it was completely (well, almost completely) out of my comfort zone. I don't do silly very well, really. I'm pretty mellow, I think. But last night was wild. It's just awesome to be that crazy now and then. I know what I'm doing with my kids this week for fun. There's a place right by me for bowling and it's just cool. What a way to kick off the weekend!

The rest of my weekend is pretty unplanned. I've got a 15% off at B&N so I'm going to hit that up after work for sure and then, who knows. I might go to Baxter's tonight for the open mike, but I dunno. It depends on if I get this one poem down or not, it's been coming to me over a span of days.

My novel makes me happy. I worked on it yesterday and laid down over 700 words in about an hour. So what I really need to do (again. and yes, I'm well aware of my repeating myself) is sit down for two hours everyday and just flippin' write! I'm going to put that in today for sure.
And, my novel is now over 25,000 words!! Yippee! That 700 put me over! I'm so excited! Now that's 25,000 from March to now - not NaNoWriMo related. I just need another 25,000 ... roughly.

Ooh! I'm putting a plug in for those who can make it, Emily Wing Smith (one of my favorite local YA/teen authors) is having a book signing/release party for her novel, The Way He Lived, this Monday night (Nov. 10) at The Kings English Bookshop (1511 South 1500 East, SLC) I can't wait! (Check out her blog - a link to it is to the right of this post :)

Hope your weekend proves as equal fun. Take time out to be downright Silly!!
It's been too long since I've laughed that hard.

Autumn Changes

2008-11-06T11:15:00.000-08:00

Who else is totally stoked that Obama won! And what a speech! Just the contrast between him and that guy we have in there currently (dare I say his name!) Honestly! What a difference. But I'll suppose we already know all that. I wish he could go into office right away. But soon enough, right?

The weather intrigues me. Yesterday the earth was blanketed in snow and today it's back to where it was before yesterday. Is that a sign of things to come? Not really, though, right? Things tomorrow will never be as they were today - hence a world of incessant change. And I ask, what are the constants? We create things that we think may be constant, and for a little bit they are, yet time allots for so much... in such cases, it's nice to feel like we'll finally have someone in office who knows what to do with those changes. He seems like such a good choice, so much potential, but is he? It's really an interesting concept...politics...

Okay, I will stop speaking in abstract riddles, or maybe just nonsense.

Is it just me or did this week pass by rather quickly...? I'll post something more on Saturday, but for now this is as much as I can reasonably lay out.

To those who are writers, lose yourself in writing. Write free and long and let nothing stand in your way as distraction.

Marilyn Monroe and the Fountains at Bellagio

2008-11-03T08:38:00.000-08:00

What a weekend! And how was everyone else's Halloween??
Cuz mine Rocked! I Happened to be in Las Vegas for Halloween! Whooweey! It was Crazy! Okay, fine, this is me we're talking about...it wasn't That crazy... but I had fun, that's for sure. I gave a concierge a Haiku! (long story :) And I dressed up, of course. And I ate ice cream and watched the fountains at Bellagio, only I wasn't dressed up as Marilyn (another long story) and I walked the strip and ... I swear I've never been SO sore from walking in my life.

The whole reason for going to Vegas was for work, a big training conference which was also really cool. I got to be tech support - me? - yeah, it was super easier than I thought (I know little-to-nothing about tech anything, so it was cool) and outside of the conference we got to have free reign in Vegas.

I walked the strip twice, had my first Ever taxi ride (I'm really sure it was my first anyway), went to Shark Reef (the aquarium at Mandalay Bay), went to the Mix (at the very top of Mandalay Bay, overlooking all of Vegas and a lot of Nevada), went to the mall, got my hair cut (they really know how to do it in Vegas!), and a whole lotta bunch of stuff. I even wrote a new poem, which I got to read at the cafe when I got home late Saturday night.

Baxter's had this killer Halloween party All day Saturday! I made it for the end, and that was really awesome.

So Vegas is over, time to mellow out, chill, get back in the real world...the real world doesn't seem so pretty this side of Vegas...

OOH!! (See, this is how into it I am...) IT'S NANOWRIMO!! Are You Ready?? Did you already start? Do you not even know what I'm talking about? I'll just say it's Day 3 and I've only put in 67 words so far! That Sucks! But it's 67 I may have not put in otherwise right then, right? And remember - I have to remember, they're supposed to be trash. They don't have to be good. Words Words Words, any words.

But honestly, I'm being realistic with myself this time around with NaNoWriMo.
My goal: 25,000 new words in my already started novel. I have 24,354 right now, add another 25,000 and a hand full more and I'll be at my 50,000. I already have my scenes laid out and it's all there, it's just a matter now of sitting down and punching them onto the page. 850 a day.
That's the real goal. And it's manageable. I Can Do It....right? YES.

I'm going to do what Eric said, the only way to really get it done - alot a time everyday, my time to write, and sit down and do it, when I'm most fresh and most ready to write. ...the only trouble with that, realistically, is I don't really know when that time is yet. Eric says in the morning, earlier than when the kids get up, only I'm not a morning person. And, yes, if I went to bed earlier I would become a morning person... life changing habits... interesting, isn't it? I don't have a lot of time to figure it out, so I better decide Today. (I should have decided last week - isn't that what we tend to tell ourselves?) but today is still good. I'll see what works and go with it.

Write On!! :)

Festivals, Books, Par-Tays!

2008-10-27T11:27:00.000-07:00

I hear different things about Saturday, the UH Book Festival wasn't as big as last year, less people show up for things these days - where was everybody? - but myself, personally, I had a blast on Saturday!

The CWC had events all day which I had the opportunity to be a big part of, very fun. And we managed to pull off a rockin' poetry slam after all. It was awesome! Very good energy. And to top off all that, I got to go to the author's party that night, exclusive to those who helped with the days' events. I met Richard Peck - prominent children's author - and Sara Zarr was there as well, I love her! I love her books and I love her as a person. She's So Cool! (have I mentioned that before?) Special thanks goes to Eric for being my guest :)

It was really an awesome day.

I'm going backwards here.
Friday was a really great day too. I'll be out of town for Halloween, so on Friday I picked out costumes for the kids to wear to a Halloween party Saturday night. And after school I took them to pick out pumpkins and we got to carve them Friday night. She wanted a girly face and he wanted a silly face, but decided a scary face overruled. Mine turned out with some funky kind of a mask and fangs...my OCDness got the better of me. And I am okay with being not a pumpkin carver.

Speaking of carving pumpkins, I'm going to a big pumpkin carving party tonight! Can't wait! Should be a lot of fun. I love watching people who can cut out amazing pictures in theirs and make them all fancy. Something away from the usual pumpkin faces. Which was what I was going for, with a mask, I guess, but I took too much off and now it's getting all saggy, already.

Thursday night (still backtracking) I took my dinosaur road bike to The Fantastic, Awesome, Amazing Bike Collective! I finally found a new back tire for it! So happy! It's a really weird size and near-impossible to find. So, new tire, gear shifter fixed, chain lubed, clunking tweaked (though, cuz of the metal frame, still clunks) all in an hour and a half and now it seriously rides like a gem! I'm so excited! First gear actually works! The Bike Collective Rocks! As do the couple of nice guys there who helped me with all that : )

And that's as far back as I'm going to go. Did you know that you can vote early this week to avoid the lines next Tuesday? I'm thinking I'm going to go vote Tomorrow!

I'm currently in film class and we're watching The Building of a Nation...or something like that...it's a silent film... in all personal unsophisticatedness, how did people watch these back then? I guess back then they didn't know of anything else...that's how. Cuz watching them now ... painful. Not only the lack of sound, but the lack of color as well... it's almost a handicap.
((**the birth of a nation**)) I can see how a lot of this music became so popular, though, how these songs managed to last through the ages with the ties to their respective films... same as today, I guess.

Well, be sure to vote, and be sure to add yourself as a follower of my blog : )
I like knowing there are people who actually read it.

Cloudy in Weather, Sunny in Mood

2008-10-21T09:09:00.000-07:00

I stirred up something with that last blog...I was just stating my thoughts...didn't really mean to...

Or did I?

I think it's interesting. According to Wikipedia definitions, republican and democrat sound real similar and I can see where people would call democrats socialists...but that's all I'm saying about that because I really don't know much else yet to hold my own in that previous discussion. And I certainly won't take sides between friends - after all, this is a 'classy blog' :)

Brief plug-in for the Utah Humanities Book Festival! It's gonna be awesome! It's at the SLC Public Library from the 22nd to the 25th. I'm going to be at work all day on Saturday, so I'm hoping I'll see some of you there! We'll be putting on a This I Believe Personal Essay reading, from 11 - 12 and then there's a couple of workshops I'll be teaching, but the biggest thing to look for is the Salt City Indie Arts crew. The guys heading that up are very good friends of mine who Rock Salt Lake with their Amazing poetry, music, and...well, arts. They'll be heading up a teen poetry slam at the fabulous and awesome SLCC Community Writing Center, along with several other fun things. So if you go, totally look for that and them! for more info and a schedule of the events, visit:

http://www.utahhumanities.org/BookFestival.htm

and check out this link as well:

http://saltcityindiearts.com/

So I've travelled in between blogging. How's that for fun. I started this post in math class (of course) but we got out early and I had to take more notes than I expected :) and class got out. So I travelled over to Baxter's Cafe - I was just too dang cold to make it home! Yikes! When did that wind come in? Ooh! And the chain fell off of my bike when I took it off the bike rack so by the time I got that straightened out - which, yes, I put it back on all by myself! (so easy... I remember it being absolutely impossible when I was little... :) - my fingers weren't moving so well...

So now I'm at Baxter's enjoying a lovely cup of hot Chai, which is absolutely the perfect temperature - not too hot, but not cold either. I've decided I'm a cafe junkie (wow, everyone else knows that already but me!!) But seriously. Since Joes closed down I just jump from cafe to cafe, liking them all for their different auras. To name a few, Mestizos to hang out with Nico (You Rock!), Baxter's (though it's been a long time since I've been in here - as in...a few weeks) Coffee Connection, I experienced that for the first time this weekend and the crowd there is awesome!
And I think it's the Coffee Bean where I usually go with a couple of my really great author friends to write our novels. (Or just talk. We do a lot of talking there.)

I'm just biding my time until I can go rock climbing again! This weekend would have been PRIME for climbing - If my group of people I climb with hadn't gone to...well, south somewhere to climb...Moab I think, or just outside Bryce - the arches anyway. So Jealous! That's fine. I'll have my chance soon. Ahahahahahahaha!

Yeah, okay. So I'm going to go now. Maybe work on my novel. I'm working up to the daily word count I need to be at to make NaNoWriMo a success. So far still procrastinating. Procrastinate now, not in November! 1700 words a day for 30 days = close to 50,000 words. I know authors who've done 5,000 regularly to slam in books! So 1700 is Pshaw!

uhuh. Best get on it then!

Lets Talk Politics for a Minute

2008-10-13T17:59:00.000-07:00

I've officially registered to vote and I've officially - for the first time ever - Archana, you better believe it - declared myself a Democrat! I never thought that would happen, honestly. I've always been so anti-democrat, mostly because I grew up in MA and democrats just seemed so wrong at the time, what with the Kennedies and the Clintons... but then I thought about it a little more and listened to a few friendly lectures and realized I have no real basis at all for thinking like that.

Truthfully, as people say, the economy was never better when Clinton was in office, it sucked when the first Bush was in office and we all know how bad it sucks now! Not to mention education, environment and a bunch of other stuff (that's honestly over my head)

I'm going democrat this time around for sure.

The other thing I've been noticing, in the 40's during WWII, Utah was dominantly democratic back then and then sometime since then they switched over to republican and they've been that ever since. But if they were once democratic what better time than now to make the switch again?? Seriously. And I realize the possibility that I might regret down the road this decision, just as I regret the decision of going republican in the last election (though I think then I did declare myself an Independent) But I just can't bring myself to vote for that other guy...Even his name just sounds sinister...

But, honestly, there's another factor that I've considered in this equation. If you notice, things get really bad with one party in office, and then the opposite party is elected and things improve and people generally think it's because the better party is in office, but is it possible that the times of the earth just changed?

What if it really has nothing to do with who's in office when but that no matter what, things would happen the way they do anyway. Like the threatened recession in the 80's and then Clinton comes in at a time when technology peaks and the economy has this amazing boost in the 90's when everyone's so into it and buying up internet stocks like crazy and buying up technological advances like crazy: internet, cell phones, lap tops, etc. And now everyone's so broke from that climbing off of its peak and nothing really new is hitting the market anymore except money suckers like fancier, outrageously priced cell phones and i-pods and expensive things that encourage people to go into debt to buy, like HDTV and crap like that.

So now things are awful and the next person in office is going to come in at a time when people are realizing just how bad it is and are finally knowing something has to be done about it and then something will be done about it. Isn't that possible? That it really has little to do with political party and more to do with, say, the 'natural order of things'?

But either way, I'm voting and I'm voting democrat and I suppose some part of me still thinks the other party can do better this time and, as I said, things with the parties has shifted. Democrats are changing and Republicans are changing and ...I do want ice for the polar bears and I'm not happy with the forests going away or the downfall of public education or where all the money's really going to.

Props to you-know-who for at least taking the initiative to attend that anti-war rally they had here Saturday night! It's not about for or against in things like that, it's about taking a stand for something when it really does count. It's about speaking up and speaking out. I'll tell you what it's not about. It's not about that person in class today who said he's just not going to vote at all because both parties suck. Lets give up all rights and just let whoever take over. That's what that person was saying and it really made me sad. Almost panicy inside, even. I cringe to think I used to almost be like that (there's very little almost in the truth of that...)

Well, not anymore. Cheers to environmentalists! Cheers to those who actually join groups, combine forces for a good cause for a change!

I'm excited for election day this time around and you better believe I will be pinned to watching the polls, for the first time ever, really! Maybe I'll even have a party - it'll be better than the super bowl a thousand times! (unless that other guy wins)

Cheers!!

Read the Warning Label First

2008-10-09T10:55:00.001-07:00

Don't worry, that title has nothing to do with anything in this post, I'm really pretty sure...

I really hate it when I start reading a book and realize I don't like it. I'm never honest about that, except this time. Normally I just stay in denial: "no, it's okay, I kind of like it...it at least deserves to be read...I can't not finish it now..." Because if I don't finish it, then what do I do? Okay, like Confederacy of Dunces! I really didn't like that book! 50 pages to the end I finally admitted it and put the friggin' book back on the shelf - at which point, why don't I just finish it, I only have 50 pages left!

Yeah, well, the book I'm reading now (Jay's Journal) I'm only about 50 pages into it this time and I'm deciding I don't like it and I put it back on the shelf before I left the house today. But it's still lingering in my head... am I going to force myself to pick it up again and finish the story? I'll let you know if I do...

It just kinda sucks cuz there was this other book I was all excited to read (The second book by Alice Steinbach) a couple weeks ago when I bought it, but I figured I'd start Jay's Journal since I had bought that one first... only now I'm not quite as excited about it, my mood's switched and the book could very easily come across as boring...I'm not in any mood to be bored (or I dunno, maybe I am and that's the problem...?) The point is, I am now in between books and I don't know what to read... do I just pick up Stienbach, finish that stupid book, or maybe read the Enchanted Forest series, I like that one and haven't read it since I bought it... has my mood really switched to Fantasy again?

hmm...interesting...perhaps it has... Eric, for some reason now I'm thinking of you...I've been thinking of you, though, since I started Jay's Journal - I remember what you said about it and maybe that's what's ruined it for me... but I think you warned me of that before you said anything, so I'll refrain from blaming you :)

The worst part of not finishing a book once I've started it, no matter if I've only read the first sentence, chapter (I never only read the first sentence or chapter, for this reason...) or 50 pages from the end, the story Never Leaves my Head!

Have you noticed that too?

Hooked!

2008-10-06T15:03:00.000-07:00

That's more like one of those Where's Waldo pictures...you can't really tell, but that dark spot at the top is a person... I don't remember, but I think Chris, who was belaying me, took it of me climbing up there... it was super cool, anyway, my second outdoor climbing experience. 2 of 4 now.

I really Love climbing! Wow...this is saying A Lot, but I might be as into climbing as I am to books and even writing...woah. It's seriously addictive. I'm still an extreme amateur, but improving...

The weekend was great! Dodging traffic from Conference was fascinatingly entertaining. Flippin' Hours of Traffic!! But okay, aside from that, I had the weekend off work and took it easy! ...as easy as I take it, anyway :)

Sunday I attended a monthly Poets' Luncheon, put on by Salt City Indie Arts, and growing! It was very kosher.

Was anyone else happy it stopped raining Sunday? Or do we all just love the rain?

Picture Book of the Friggin' Year!! : He Came with the Couch!!

Look it up, borrow it, buy it, it's so flippin' Cute!! I love it!

May the sun burn its warmth into you today :)

Happy October 1 !!!!

2008-10-01T12:24:00.000-07:00

And Happy Birthday Grampa and Chris!
I think I said the same thing about September, but October is my favorite month! It reminds me of being 7, 8, 9, picking apples at the Bolton Apple Orchard in MA, Massachusetts in general, the changing trees, the cool brisk air, and of course Halloween.

This year I'll be in Las Vegas for Halloween! What will that be like? (A nightmare??) I just know I want to be something entirely different than what I've been all the other years. You know who you are, are you still up for helping me find a cool costume??? Coming up soon... Halloween is, I mean.

Wow. I didn't realize I have absolutely so little to say, for once. I'm at work too and I should be working, so I'm going to go and work. But I just wanted to say:

Happy October 1st!! : )

Coffee Break

2008-09-27T22:09:00.001-07:00

Okay, okay, all who know me know I don't like OR drink coffee. But this is Round 2 of the cafes Saturday night for me. This super cool guy I work with works at cafe Mestizo (spelled wrong?) It's sweet! In a way probably only I understand, it's a mix between a New Orleans and European/French/Italian feel. It's sweet! And so amazing... there was this wine tasting going on in the side room whilst I was there, very urban, though I refused, politely or less, to participate...it was still cool.

That was earlier. Then I went home, thinking I'd chill with my new loot from Barnes and Noble (ooh, I got some goods! Including Steinbach's second book! - Tammy, I'll let you know if it's as good as the first :) but I got this itchiness instead, maybe it was that mocha chocolate something I sampled and hated at Mestizo (it was well made, just not my thing...)

Anyway, I got this sudden spring to my inner self and took off on my retro dinosaur (since my other bike is at the library still) and raced over to Baxters (the new location on weekends for Joes - some of my old friends are here) to try out my new poems... yeah, I wrote some new poems, though they're graphic and vile and dark and weird. But I'm reading them tonight for thrills and kicks. It's fun to see some old faces, and new... cool.

mmm and sweet music even... a couple guys are playing, guitar and harmonica... I really dig cafes! Venom, you'd Love this! Next time you're down we'll come here, seriously!

Other cool things I've done the past few days... Thursday I went Night Climbing for the very first time!! Climbing in the complete dark with only a head light for vision! Such a Trip!! Crazy! And some of my best climbing too! It was nuts! I'd reach for a hold and there'd be a giant ant right by my fingers, or a couple of worms circling each other. No kidding. A thousand fears to conquer all at once! I journaled for pages about it tonight at Mestizos.

How about the creepy looking erosion-protecting mesh which looks eroded itself, suggesting rotting corpses lie beneath, with eerie white partial hand prints practically glowing on the wall, and thoughts of zombies creeping along the edges of the darkness...nevermind the usual fear of height, falling, dark...yes, I'm still terrified of the dark. And nevermind the person at the top who I can't see anymore who's not answering my calls, and the dark closing in and the ...are there zombies? Is the mesh going to rise up, revealing bodies like those at the Bodyworld exhibit by library square...I think I'm glad I hadn't checked that out yet...

Though it is close enough to Halloween...

Night Climbing. A truly trippy experience.

But then, aside from all the fears and paranoia there's the thrill of making it to the top without falling, of sitting on the ledge looking over at the cliffs across the way, watching the glowing clouds above those cliffs, seeing Casiopia and Orion in a whole new way, up close almost.

And the thrill of climbing, the fear, does it compare with the similar feelings I get when I read my stuff in public? Why do I do this, come to these places, read my cruddy, amateur stuff... it's not all bad, I just perform as well as I climb, which, for the few that have ever seen me climb understand the comparison. I am not a performer of writing...a poet worthy of 'slam'... I just write prose and articles.

But maybe for once it's okay for me not to be perfect at something, to be okay with not being good at performing and just be happy with my own small personal thrills I get from it.

I'll save my need for perfection for climbing...like writing, that I want, have to, must be good at...
maybe, someday...

And it's always worth listening to everyone else read. Why not participate, but appreciate others more, worry less about own flaws, enjoy the positive energy.

This week, be sure, enjoy the positive energy.

weekend Burnout, more like...

2008-09-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

It hit me today just how much I wasn't home this weekend. You know that phrase? Something like 'work hard, play hard', or how about 'work hard, play harder'... maybe it's a philosophy which varies depending on personality! Ooh! So which one do you do? Work hard, play harder, or play hard, work harder? now the word hard looks funny...you know, like when you overuse a word and it seems to turn all rubbery...

Anyway... the point is, I'm exhausted. Last weekend I had a good reason to not be home at all (the writing conference) this weekend? More by choice... a little. I hung out with my friend from out of town the first day and a half of the weekend, worked, and was out around town the second day and a half. Sunday, among other things, I climbed the wall again. Strenuous, intense, fun and frustrating all at the same time...

I'm determined to climb better...I'm not very good still. The place I climb at is only open on weekends...that's no good. I'm going to find somewhere else for the week...mix things up a bit. I hear there's a climbing gym right by my house! How's that for serendipitous... or whatever ya wanna call it...

I'm at work right now... I've been trying not to fall asleep all day, in class, at work... seeing as how I haven't slept in since I don't remember when and 2am is my usual bedtime... I might just go to bed early tonight! What would that be like? Before 10:30? Wow... we'll see... if I start working on my novel when I get home I know I'll go right to sleep... not. a. good. sign.

My goal? To get up at 7 instead of 8...or maybe make 6:30 - 7:30 my time to write in the mornings. This writing whenever thing is getting me nowhere - ya think! :) I know, I know... all the 'real' writers set aside blocks of time, even if it's only used by staring at the wall behind them, picturing the story play out...

Speaking of stories... My mom is actually reading a book I recommended to her. She's so picky and usually doesn't like anything I like, so it's a little surprising to me. It's that one I told Tammy about, Without Reservations. Mom's already started it and says she Loves it! She'll probably have it done by tomorrow seeing as how she's at my place right now watching the kids (who should be sleeping, so reading's perfect) whilst I'm at work.

... half an hour, just half an hour more...

Weekend Stardust

2008-09-19T08:09:00.000-07:00

I have been so stuck in my head this week. Do you ever feel like that sometimes? Sad, depressed, lonely, grumpy, only you just can't shake it off this time...it just sticks, and no, this time around, it has nothing to do with that girl thing... That's how this week was for me, until I realized just how self-absorbed I was being. I was treating everyone and everything in my life with ungratefulness. I was being just plain Bratty.

Well, I'm over it, I'm over myself and I'm sure at some point in my life I'm going to feel that way again. But hopefully next time I'll have learned from this week and shake it off sooner than I did this time. Those who know me, I think, know I don't stay down for too long or too often...at least I think I'm a cheery person most of the time. But when I do get upset, it's So noticeable. Everyone, even people who don't know me, can tell that my energy's low - I think most people can tell when other people are upset, just sometimes nobody says anything about it - Maybe the noticeable part is just more of me being stuck on myself...

Anyway, enough of all that. The point is, I'm happy and excited again and just in time for this weekend! I have a friend staying over for a visit and at least a few times I'm going to go climb that wall and maybe even get to climb outside...just once? : ) I hope! I'm also in the process of outlining my novel, given all that awesome information at the conference last weekend. I have some rearranging to do and some new writing to bust out, that's for sure! I gotta get this friggin' book done!

OOOOH and Guess What!!! NaNoWriMo is coming up!! Are you ready??? For those of you who Don't know, NaNoWriMo is just about the most exciting thing for writers everywhere! - and non-writers, too, I guess... National November Writing Month... November is national writing month and to celebrate, this Brilliant person put together a website which hundreds of thousands of people visit in the month of November to report their progress.

The Goal: 50,000 words in 30 days!! Sounds hefty, huh? So far I've never been able to do it, but I always get farther on my novel than ever before. The trick, I think, is preparing this time. A novel in a month...oooh! And not quite yet, but soon, it'll be time to stock up on writing movies - Alex and Emma, Music and Lyrics is okay, Stranger than Fiction, One Fine Day, Runaway Bride.... aside from all of these being chic flicks, at least one of the characters in all of them is a writer. Some, like Alex and Emma, are even about writing. I love it! But really, that's not the kinda prep I was originally thinking of. We'll get to more of that later. (Maybe my outline will actually really be useful...)

In the meantime, I'm blowing off math class again. (I'm multitasking, more like - this and notes, it's lots more entertaining :)

A Good Time To...

2008-09-16T08:49:00.001-07:00

The weekend is over, the conference is over, and life is smoothing back into routine. How is it possible to have such a set routine and have it still feel so ridiculously chaotic? I need to rethink and reorganize and just breathe. Is there really time for breathing? I guess it depends on the definition, maybe, right?

I had a friend call me yesterday. I love those types of phone calls, really. I was at work and a friend from a business called me and said she'd just met with someone from a magazine (and I'm going to remain real unspecific here) who said they've got some openings for freelance writers. She recommended me! She took the person's info and told them I'd probably be calling! How cool is that! What's more, she gave me all the info and I actually called them. They requested a couple of my writing samples which I emailed over right away before I could talk myself out of it and they said it might be a couple weeks, but that they'll probably get back to me! WoW! Even if they don't get back to me, I'm really okay with that. It's the possibility of the opportunity that I often become more amazed with ...maybe that's messed up...

It'd be a simple part time freelance thing, already stuff that I do, what's one more except the possibility of more money : ) Though I don't know yet if this is even a paying gig. Time will tell.

I'm in math class. We're learning negative numbers (rather appropriate for my mood lately, if I think about it.) He's talking in terms of negative bank accounts and losing in Las Vegas...or Wendover... It's good review anyway.

I finished that book finally, Without Reservations. The title has so many meanings in so many ways! And what a fabulous book! A lot of good imagery mixed with a lot of thoughtful substance. Without Reservations: for one thing, she decided to go to Europe 'without reservations' - second thoughts, holding back, etc. And she didn't really make a whole lot of hotel reservations along the way, like, she kind of did, but she left herself wide open for spontaneity. Good book. And she won a flippin' Pulitzer in feature journalism (someday...maybe someday...) : ) If you have no idea what I'm talking about, just read the book... Tammy, you might really enjoy it.

Alright, well, I'm falling behind in my math notes now. If two wrongs don't make a right, how do two negatives make a positive...? He says they do...

Writer's Conference Overload

2008-09-13T08:39:00.000-07:00

I am in my ultimate-most element today! I'm at a writer's conference! Vacation! I am away from the city and happy and with fellow writers! I'm making friends, listening to people talk about improving the craft, listening to people talk about their creations, listening to people like me who can't get enough of talking about Writing! I love it! Love it! Love it!

And, by the way, the title of this blog is an Oxymoron! If you know what I mean.

It's really funny. I've realized a pattern in myself when it comes to these conferences. It's a little revealing, I suppose, but... I intend to go to these events months in advance, I know which conferences are coming up when and I get excited about it and know I'll be going. Then about a month before the event I start tossing around the idea of "what if I Didn't go?" Which quickly turns into: I Really Don't Want to Go! Two weeks before the event I decide I don't want to go, only by then I've committed to it and registered and have no way out (that's a good thing) and then there's really this high anxiety of there's going to be too many people in too small a place and oh my gosh, People!, and I'll be away from home and it'll be long and I'll be stuck in places I can't get out of and I Just Can't Do It!

Now I'm getting better with all of this. At one point that anxiety lasted through the event and it was so high I just had to leave and I couldn't handle the pressure...of what? Being around people? And I'm a social person - So social - so what's the problem? I haven't actually identified the why behind my behavior, but...

With this event the anxiety lasted up until four days ago. Four days ago I was still telling myself, It's not too late to not go, I'll just not go, it's not That big a deal...I'll stay home and it'll be great and I can go climbing and ride my bike and .... yeah. Then I started thinking about the actual people I Know who would be at the event, my friends who I really only get to see at things like this, like Eric and Dashner and maybe Julie (who I'm really sad to not have here) Anyway, all of a sudden I couldn't wait for the conference to start. Yippee, another conference!

So, to make a ridiculously longer thing a little big shorter, I make myself sign up for a conference, I forget about it, wait for it to come up, wait and wait and try to forget about it, then I dread it, am sure I won't go and I'll just miss it and be fine and then I get excited about it, either days before or not until I'm actually there and then I just start letting myself breathe and relax and have fun and enjoy the people So Much, and then it's over! and I come back down to real life, go home, and for the next two weeks in my head I'm always still there, reliving the event, counting down until the next one when I can do the whole mental thing all over again...

I think I'm working up to just being comfortable being at the event. Why not skip all the BS uncomfortable thoughts beforehand? Why would they even exist in the first place? Maybe from here on they won't. I've recognized them, acknowledged them and now I'll dismiss them and maybe just trust myself, knowing that I'll have fun and it won't be scary and I'll be fine and it's the greatest awesomest thing that I love to do the most and it's always worth going to.

I can trust that I'll always meet new awesome people at these events. I already have at this one, cherished friends who I'm so excited to be around right at this moment and will want to be around a lot in days to come, people like Jaclyn and Stephanie and who are aspiring writers, teenagers brave enough to show up to something like this when they could be anywhere else. They've got Such a headstart and I hope they know it! And an amazing author and speaker, Wendy Toliver, who I know I'll love to get to know better. I picked up her book at the bookstore here today and she's already signed it for me and I know I'll have a chance to talk to her more later today and it'll be awesome.

So frilly hats off to conferences and today and writing. Especially to writing. And to friends who encourage me in being what I am - A Writer!

Chocolate Stripes and Kisses

2008-09-11T08:24:00.000-07:00

I have six minutes before I have to take my test. I'm feeling shockingly confident. I could have taken it yesterday, even with missing class Tuesday (Yes, Professor, I had a brilliant excuse) Breakfast today is a Mr. Goodbar. Yum. It's more the tecture I like than the taste...

Do you ever have those dreams where you wake up knowing that they were something so bizarre, but you wake up so suddenly, or maybe gradually, that for the life of you you just can't remember what you dreamed? But oh, how you want to remember...
I guess that's what I get for going to bed at 4:30. (No, no brilliant excuse for that one)

Maybe I'll have to be the blogger who starts a blog and then finishes it later... like, I'll post little bits of an unfinished post gradually over a week...umm... maybe everybody's blogs are just strings of unfinished posts. The point is my math teacher came in and now I have to go.

One more thought before I... Round Up: the League of Utah Writer's Conference, is this weekend! I for sure will be there...I guess... admittedly it's taken me a while to decide for sure if I want to go; "someone would have to cover for me at work and it's far and I would need a way to get there and a place to stay" ...but everything fell into place at the seemingly last minute, as things tend to do. So I'm going, especially since as of a couple days ago I've become the...well, I won't spoil it for those who are going, and for those who aren't, well, it's probably not official yet.

Doesn't it feel great to be approaching Autumn!

I would buy you a bouqet of sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address... however, this not knowing has it's charms... (name that movie! :) yeah, okay, so it's an easy one.

Lacking Originality

2008-08-30T11:08:00.001-07:00

Bikes Bikes Bikes! My new obsession! I'm so excited! I Finally got to ride my dinosaur of a bike to work today! Remember the beautiful beach cruiser bike I was so excited about getting from the Collective? Well, there's been multiple difficulties with the tires and then everything was fine except for a missing nut, which I replaced this morning with pieces from my little boy's bike... it was ingenious, really - and of course somebody else's idea...but I needed something to get me to work today. Last night after my venture at the Gallivan I returned to my mountain bike to find the back tire completely flat. I knew something was wrong with it on the way there.

So anyway, transportation is always an issue and I'm finding bikes to be almost as much trouble as cars, only cheaper to fix... why can't everything just work? What if Everything did Just Work? Then we'd never have trials or problems or growth, right?

Today is Saturday and I'm at work. I'd be enjoying myself more if I weren't so desperately hungry. I was hungry when I went to bed at 3 last night and those peanut butter M&M's from then have worn off...like seven hours ago. There's a very small girl here, otherwise I'd be eating my lunch. She's got these big eyes that would just beg me to share, I know it :)

Events from yesterday: I got my hair cut (yes again. So what if it's only been 2 months?). I fell off my bike for the first time since I've had it (it was that car's fault, I swear - they pulled up way too far and in avoiding it I hit the curb the wrong way and toppled over) like there's any right was to hit a curb... luckily I slowed down tremendously and really didn't even get scraped. My palms are tougher than I thought.

Events from the yesterdays before: I'm on the last book of the Sisterhood series and really thoroughly enjoying it. I asked one of my friends to pick up a copy for me since they were geographically closer. As a former bookstore employee I automatically reverted back to bookstore terms "it'd be on the A-frame on the table next to the big bay and hopefully it'll be in mass market, not just trade paper" Yes, then I realized I was being ridiculous and simply called ahead to have a copy pulled for me and held up at the front... and no, it's not in mass market yet,
darn it.

I'm having rock climbing withdrawals. I haven't climbed in days anything and I really really want to, especially outside. Maybe tonight after work I'll climb the wall just for fun.

I realize this post lacks the necessary substance for it to be called Useful. But since when are blogs supposed to be useful? The bottom line: my life is finally smoothing out, all the way into the little corners even! I have a schedule - work, school, kids, fun - and it's flexible enough as not to get boring (no 9-5 everyday and then some)

I love it! Flat tires, missing nuts, and all.
(no pun intended :)

The Wheels on the Bike Go....

2008-08-21T13:53:00.000-07:00

As irony would have it, Cup O' Joes has temporarily reopened just blocks from where I live...and actually on the same property as the school I'm going to... isn't that nuts? So, yeah, I guess I'm okay with that. Still, nothing beats the original location.

Monday was my official first day at my new job! I love it! I won't say where, but I get to help people write stuff and I get to teach writing workshops! How great is that! :) Yes, it's the perfect job for me! Did I already specify where in my past post? Probably...

I started school officially yesterday too! (Everything's so official!) I'm taking my one math class, which is pretty much all the time, and I'm taking a film class which is four hours on Mondays...Mondays and Thursdays will for a long time be repulsively full for me! Yet fun, I'm sure.

OOOH, Yeah, I almost forgot!! I, me, the person who hates heights and falling to include slides and swings (I hate that plummeting stomach feeling) I went Rock Climbing on Saturday!! For the first time Ever!! Ropes and all, I had a belayer... (different from a delayer...that's what I am)

At one point I was hanging upside down, clinging to a boulder, and I just couldn't keep my grip! I swung out, upside-down, spinning, over a 50 foot drop...maybe more, who knows... it was pretty intense! (okay, it was probably more like 20 feet...who knows...I'll have to check with my belayer) It was awesome! I really want to go again this weekend!

New hobbies include that and bike riding! I've got two awesome bikes! Which reminds me, those tires are probably in by now! Gotta check on that.

Hey, so have you ever seen the movie Herald and Maude?? What a trippy flick. It was showing at the Gallivan on Monday and I happened upon watching some/most of it... I'll have to see it sometime when there's not some major crowd watching it with me...I really hate crowds.

Things I love about city life: the cafes - namely all privately owned small, unique business restaurants/shops, like Fabulously Fourth Street Music! (love it!) Unique bike stands, like the one outside the library that says Books, the urban feel - and all that that entails...mostly.

Things I hate about the city: crowded buses/bus stations/trax/trax stations/really just crowds in general, the noise of construction - freaks me out!, the people who stare, the people who stare and start talking, the people who smell like rancid sweaty alcohol - ooh, yeah, that's gotta be #1.

But all in all, SLC is pretty fun, and pretty. There's this guy who keeps walking by where I am who looks just like Herald...weird.

My next post may have more substance...but then again, perhaps not.

Dancin' Dancin' Dancin' !!

2008-08-06T08:11:00.000-07:00

Alright, so this post will definitely make up for my last one which was kind of a downer, (but still important).

I'm SO Freaking Excited!! :)

ONE: I got my bike!!
TWO: I got the job!!

Yippee!!

Okay, so, my bike! I absolutely LOVE it! I got it from the awesome Bike Collective, of course, on 2300 and West Temple where you can go and put in volunteer hours towards a bike of your choice from their shop, or you can just buy a bike from them and fix it up yourself and learn all of its intimacies, or you can take a bike you already own and fix it up or donate it to the cause. Lots of things! It's just one of the best things this city has to offer, really. Amazing.

So if none of that made sense, I found the bike I wanted a few months back (I know I've already posted about most of this) put in a bunch of volunteer hours towards owning it and then did a very stupid thing: I let the bike just sit there. Normally they pull neglected bikes after a couple of weeks so it can go to someone else. I got Very lucky. I sheepishly called Monday inquiring of its existance and It Happened to Still be there!! So I went in last night and officially claimed it as mine! Then I spent the evening fixing it and Voila!! I now have a BEAUTIFUL Rideable bike!

The BC offers a free class Saturdays on bike safety and how-to's and everything. I'm going this Saturday, cuz seriously, I feel like without the class me riding in the city is pretty much suicide. And are helmets Really required?? They look SO dorky! I know, I know. I'm very happy with the head that I have - dorky or not, I'll do what it takes to protect it. But I am going to be picky in my choice of helmets. I'm actually pretty reluctant to ride my bike at all until that class...

Anyway, Okay, So I bet you're Dying to know about the Job! (or by now you've gotten so lost in my ramblings, you've forgotten any mention of it : )

I Got the Job At the CWC!! Yippee!! They Hired me!! I start Tuesday!! Hoorah! Hoorah!
CWC: Community Writing Center! Part time hours sharing the passion to write! I getta critique stuff for people, mentor, coach writing groups, teach workshops! Awesome!! That last one's my very favorite: teach workshops! You know, that's the place I spent all of Arts Festival at volunteering. Now I get to work there!

Now if the other place would just call me... I had an interview with them, too, and they said I could have another one...just waiting and waiting. I'll be less vague when I get the job.

Job, School, Bike!! Fall's gonna be awesome!!

Ode to Joe's

2008-08-04T10:43:00.001-07:00

Thanks Robert, it's nice to know people are keeping tabs. I've just been so Busy!

First off. Bad news, folks, and I'm trying to keep my head about myself...
You know that coffee shop I always mention I'm blogging from?? You know, the one I go to to write my novel, work on homework, eat yummy sandwiches, ice cream, my source for chai, a good game of pool, a social life? The place I read my prose and poetry at open mike-night on Saturdays to groups of people who can appreciate the written and spoken word and who share their own... pretty much my home-away-from-home for the past four months...that one? Its official name: A Cup of Joe. ...Cup o' Joe's.

Yeah, that one. Anyway, it officially closed its doors Friday night. That's right, out of business, no longer open, shut down. The reasons are many and complicated and political and sad. If we're lucky it'll reopen in a new location soon, which, people tell me, suggests hope. But I liked that location, I liked the feel of that place, the central-metro-urban cultural feel and all that that entailed... I loved the people who worked there, some of my best friends these past few months...

Lets just say, and it's redundant: it goes to show how much our economy really is failing, when small businesses struggle so much like that. Anyone who knows me knows how against the 'doom and gloom' attitude I am - I really won't go into it - but times are getting strange to me. I admit I'm young, I don't know or understand a lot of what happened in history, or what's happening now. But this is what I see:

A war, gas prices rising, talk of recession, denial of recession, people going into shops bargaining for lower prices - this costs too much, why's this cost so much, can I get a discount? - "milk $4 a gallon"... small businesses not making enough, being shuffled out by the bigger dogs who have more money. The patterns of our world... it's a little scary to me now that it's actually a reality first hand, you know what I mean?

So the hope? Maintain that community feel now more than ever, find it where ever it can be found; know who your neighbors are, do the things you enjoy most. Cup o' Joe's might reopen somewhere else. In the meantime the group is meeting at Cafe Marmalade, a place I've never heard of, a place I've never been. I really hope to see all the same faces - or at least a lot of them- there. That'll at least make if feel a little familiar. Ever notice how when things just start getting stable, that's when an earthquake hits? Sure, you can call it 'change'. I suck at dealing with any kind of change. I finish a book, I get depressed for a week, wishing to be in that same story and knowing no matter if I reread it, it'll never be the same...

Alright. I'll stop.

So what else have I been up to? The good news? I finished out my first semester of school in seven years! (that's a funny nonsensical sentence - you get what I mean;) I'm done with summer (more difficult change to deal with, really) semester and headed on to fall. I've had a couple of job interviews, still waiting to hear. Hopefully I'll have a couple of big announcements to make by the end of this week! I hope! Summer semester was awesome! I've never done as well in school as I did this time around! I got a couple of good pieces of writing out of it, too, and lots of useful knowledge. Other than that, I've been working on getting my little girl registered for First Grade! (Can you believe it!) and working on making my apartment a little more homelier, sorting out my collection of books. They've been all over the floor of my living room all weekend and I absolutely love it, the stacks and piles and I can pick one up at random and just get lost in the prose!

I got a new CD: Mike Doughty - I highly recommend his stuff, it's great!
And I wrote a couple of new poems for the first time in years. Did you know I write poetry too?
Other than that, just trying to keep my head about myself...

Lazy Lazy Lazy Lazy Lazy ...Jane

2008-07-19T20:35:00.001-07:00

Okay, yes. I'll stop being lazy and actually post something real for a change. How 'bout that?
New things? Two more weeks left of school. I feel like I should almost be excited about that. I'm not really. I've really enjoyed this semester. I've written some fun things, made some cool friends. But I am looking forward to next semester. It looks like I'll probably be taking a math class ...fantastic. (OOOZING with sarcasm!) I really Hate Hate Hate math. I'll take something fun too, like film something something theory something and maybe even ballet again - I took that at Dixie a couple times eight years ago. Me, ballet? I know.

Also, I'm really excited. No, I still haven't gotten a job, I'll admit I've been taking my time with that, waiting it out for the best of the best. And finally an opening has come up at a place I've especially been waiting for - don't want to give too much away too soon, don't want to jinx it or anything. But I'll definitely be applying for that and it'd be absolutely perfect and no, it's not at the library again. :) I'll let you know what happens.

My novel has been coming along incredibly, I have to say! I've Finally broken 20,000!!! Almost half way there! I'm sure it'll end up a little over 50,000 - 65 or 70,000 might not be terrible - So exciting! It's amazing - every time I sit down something new just flows out, fast and not all trash. I'm in the process of adding a third storyline, the one I've been avoiding most and it's just been so easy. I'm excited to get farther and someday actually have somebody read the whole thing... or at least the whole beginning, as a start.

I'm liking my apartment and will very soon - I hope - have all of my books at my place. Or at least most of them. I miss my books and could use the bookcases. The built in shelves are already pretty well full up. I think I'm even still averaging maybe a new book every other day... maybe it only seems that way. Maybe it's become a book a week or two weeks... not sure.

Oh, here's something. I saw Dark Night (Knight?) last night - anyway, I just call it Batman II !!
I have to say it was good, but ...exhaustingly intense. By the end the action and twistedness was a little overwhelming and the plot is SO similar to Koontz's Velocity (hope that doesn't ruin it for anyone) which isn't a bad thing, really. I won't say more in case others haven't seen it yet, but it was fun. I'm not a big movie goer, really. I have to be in the right mood or with the right people or it has to be the right kind of theater movie. Like Ocean's 13 - not a theater movie but a take home movie and watch 3 or 4 times to get everything out of it (maybe Ocean's 11 or 12 - 13 wasn't as good) But Indiana Jones, Batman, Spiderman, Sahara (no Boos!) all excellent theater movies.

I'm having fun. I'm at Cup O' Joes (as usual) only it's open mike night where everybody who wants to can read something of their stuff that they wrote. It's an especially big crowd tonight and the mood is good and the reading for the most part is especially good quality tonight. I've refrained from reading the past few times, but sometime I'm sure I'll read again. I do more prose than poetry, of course. But I guess really I read both.

Time to do that 3-page paper I've been avoiding all week! GACK!

As Baby Dreams

2008-07-14T11:13:00.000-07:00

So some of you have been requesting bits of my writing. This is one of my favorite pieces that I've dedicated to my children. I wrote it when I was pregnant with my daughter and just have always loved it. And a lot of you have read it already, but I've changed it up a bit here an' there.
Really it's just an extension of laziness cuz I don't actually have time to blog this minute, but wanted to update in some way.
So, enjoy! Lemme know your thoughts on it.
(wow and that could be dangerous ;)

Roses rise, entwining emerald thickets,
Whispering through shades of green.
Fairies dance under ferns of fire
Encircling sapphire butterflies.

Amidst the clamorous yellows
A wee babe chases buttercups.
Creatures cluster behind willow canopies
Guarding her dream in silence.

Moonlight sheds his soft pale glow
Shimmering through leafy patches.
Reflecting waves of brilliance,
Magic makes the garden grow wild - free.

Dapples dance with daffodils
Illuminating Night.
Awakened by Twilight's tinkering tune,
The wee babe blinks from slumber.

She stretches, and stretching, rises
Like ocean seas a-glitter.
Gazing at the moon above,
She hears his knightly whisper:

What will your creations be?
What magic will you bring?
The gifts of life and lasting-love,
The dreams you'll see in slumber -

These are yours to keep and hold.
These are yours to wonder.

31 Things I do Instead of Writing.

2008-07-09T08:12:00.000-07:00

Do you do any of these? Or any others?
(Obviously this was written a few years ago, but I just couldn't cut those ones!)

I play Solitaire.
I’ve played solitaire so many times I got bored and downloaded Mahjong. Now I play Mahjong instead.
I go to the Barnes and Noble café for a quiet place to work and spend all my time reading books on the history of Mahjong.
I call people I haven’t talked to in ages and time myself on how long I can get them to stay on the phone with me.
I baked cookies for one of my friends and then had to bake cookies for everybody so nobody would feel left out.
Let’s just say, my house has never been cleaner.
Now my car is clean too.
I think up new episodes for Monk that would make the show even more humorous.
I reread Harry Potter… this will be number nineteen, just once more and we’ll have an even twenty. Monk likes even numbers. We’ll try for that.
I think up numerous ending possibilities for book 7.
I fantasize about a book 8. There just has to be one.
I reread my writer’s digest collection looking for ways to not procrastinate.
I spend all my time thinking “What would Kevin do?”
I call my writing buddies and talk to them about ways we procrastinate on writing.
I make myself food that I somehow don’t get around to eating.
I’ve finally perfected my sandwiches.
I put in a movie for inspiring background noise and spend all my time watching it.
I’ve updated my list of movies about writing so it now includes Stranger than Fiction and Music and Lyrics.
I sort through my music collection looking for the perfect writing soundtrack.
I finally sit down to write and get stumped on a fact which I can only find the answer to on Wikipedia.
Wikipedia is so fascinating I spend all my time running searches.
I look up writing jobs on Craig’s List and go to interviews for jobs I don’t intend to take.
I finally realize the true meaning of “I’ll just Google it!”
There’s no better time to teach my five-year-old how to color by number.
During the day I tell myself I’ll be able to concentrate better after the kids are in bed. But I forget that my spouse will be home in the evenings and, well, you know how that goes...
Every time I sit down to write I fall right to sleep.
I now have 54 favorite backgrounds for my computer and I’m too busy deciding which one to use.
I fantasize about writing for the Writer’s Digest, and I’m sure if I could just do that, I wouldn’t procrastinate at all.
I look up flight prices to exotic places and then fantasize about going to them.
I pick the crumbs out of my keyboard. I can’t type with them in there anyway.
I write articles like this.

Burning Hot Sun...Swollen Toes...

2008-07-05T09:12:00.000-07:00

What did you all do to celebrate our country's independence?? I feel like that keeps seeming more like an oxymoron with each passing year. Anyone else feel that way? ...or that it's just... somehow twisted...you all know what I mean even if I can't say it right...I guess the question I'm going for here is is our country really free? Compared to other countries it's absolutely free, but within our own country... I think the expectations for freedom could be higher. There.

I'm really not into politically controversial debates - I don't consider myself politically savvy in Any way, which I'm working on, especially now that I'm in school...I think we should at least be aware of what's going on in the world around us even if we don't want to be active in changing things or helping things along...I think we are all active by default anyway and if more people knew more about all of it it would all happen much more smoothly maybe or they would at least be more aware of the impact of their actions...but now that's just being down right hypocritical.

ANYWAY. Enough of that...crazy. So we went to Provo to celebrate, up Provo Canyon to a really great fire pit spot and roasted hot dogs and made smores!! Yum! And then we drove up to Squaw Peak and watched all the fireworks happening across the valley and especially the Stadium of Fire show. It was lots of fun. The children are especially hilarious and compete with each other for cuteness recognition. Ivan was explaining to the kids about why we celebrate Independence Day and mentioned George Washington. Lochlan started asking a clarifying question and got as far as something like "But what did George Washingmachine...?" That kept us laughing for quite some time : )

Random change of subject...Okay, so on my way to becoming urban-ized, metro-savvy ...something... ...I've decided that some days public trans just sucks. Thursday was definitely one of those days... I had two appointments, one at 2 and one at 3... great setup, right? I waited 40 minutes for the bus to take me seven blocks down state street to my 2:00. I should have just walked, right? Only I couldn't have picked more uncomfortable shoes (my black 3 inch heals...way to go) I was twenty minutes late. fantastic. Then I waited another 40 minutes for the bus to take me the seven blocks back the other way and pretty much missed my 3:00 appointment. So, yes, public trans is great for fun when you don't actually have to be anywhere at any specific time : )

And that's not factoring in the crazies that invite me to go to bars with them...yikes!

I can't wait for when I can get my bike! I found the perfect one at the bike shop and the way it works is I can put in volunteer hours fixing up other bikes to earn the bike I want and while doing so I can learn all kinds of stuff about how to fix bikes so that when the one I have needs something I'll know exactly what to do. It's so cool! Not to mention it feels good putting in service hours helping other people. I don't feel like I do that near enough. So I should have a bike in a couple of weeks. And not just any bike, the classic double-baskets on the back, girl style, old-fashioned road bike of my dreams! The kind I love to ride in Maine!! 'nough said, right?

Speaking of Maine I was invited by my family to go there this summer.
(they'll all be there in one week...)
Gosh I miss it.

Well, it's Saturday and I have the Entire day to work on my book, so that's what I'm gonna do. I'm so excited! I finally figured out how to factor in one of the main story lines! I know exactly where to start it, at least for now and how it's gonna work. Some writers say you should never talk to anyone about your stuff till it's all done, but how would you ever come up with where things fit and new ideas if you don't talk about it?? I think, as in all things, there must be a balance.

Have a great Saturday and hope ya'll enjoy the weekend, wherever you may be.

...Something's Different...

2008-06-24T14:21:00.000-07:00

This will probably be my shortest blog ever; for those of you who are tired of the longer ones, that's probably good news :) I don't have much time, but feel compelled to update since I haven't in quite a few days...

The big news? I've finally moved into an apartment!! (Where I lived previously will remain a mystery for those of you who're confused as to where that was before...yes, again with the vagueditity :) nice. It's sweet! It's an apartment in part of a house...I guess it's a triplex, though I don't think that was it's intention when it was originally built. The house is surrounded and well hidden by beautiful, though awful smelling, trees.

My favorite part: in the living room there are two built in desks with bookshelves above them, separated by a fireplace! It's really quaint and cute and perfect for my books that had been previously neglected in boxes. I love it! The kids' room I've decorated all cutesy and will continue adding upgrades here and there; my room is fine and the most important thing: I at last have my own kitchen and bathroom! Wow! What commodities! :)

So moving this past weekend kept me busy. This coming weekend will be even more swamped with the upcoming Arts Festival, which you all better go to! I'll be volunteering with the Community Writing Center and having fun there, cool! I don't recall having ever even gone to the Arts Festival before, so this will be quite the thing...all those people...I hope I don't freak out...

I'm excited to say - I just couldn't resist - I bought Jessica's second book to Dragon Slippers, Dragon Flight and am thoroughly enjoying it! It'll be a fun read as well tonight on my lengthy trax ride to Sandy...

Does anybody else miss ConDuit so much it's painful? I miss being around everybody, all you author people and sci-fi freaks (I can say that, cuz really I'm one too) I just miss it so bad. And I know I'm being repetitive in saying that... I'm just really looking forward to whatever the next thing is coming up and whatever it is it's not soon enough...okay, Arts Festival is just a few days away...that'll be fun...I just hope I see some of the same people there that I saw from ConDuit...which I'm pretty sure I won't because they're a whole different species of people...but I can hope, right?

Did I say this would be short? Well, have a great week and I look forward to hearing from some of you...

Am I really a Pottermaniac?

2008-06-17T13:30:00.000-07:00

I've been avoiding updating my blog till I have something reasonably of interest to post. I realized I'll probably be delaying forever if I keep that up, so here I am...updating...again...

I have to say I feel my presentation went really well today. For those of you who I haven't raved to about this, I had to give a ten-minute presentation for one of my classes at school today on the Harry Potter Phenomenon and how it's revolutionized children's lit. Gosh, what a fantastic topic! And no, I didn't come up with it myself. It was on a list that we were required to pick from. My presentation was more like 30 minutes rather than 10... I managed to narrow my 20 pages of exciting facts down to ...5? and I think even then I only got through half... thank you to those who contributed to it, it really was awesome to be able to quote my friends as qualified sources on the subject.

One of the facts I ran across was that at a university in Calif, there's a class specifically called Harry Potter Lit. ...or something of the sort. I've decided I really really really would be totally happy teaching a class like that! There's just so much to cover!

Okay, Okay. I can feel myself building up to going off about all of it and so I'll stop myself now. ...I'll stop...breathe... :)

So, when I'm not madly doing school projects and studying, I've been stopping by the community writing center for tips on my novel. That really is a humbling experience, by the way...for a few reasons which I'll refrain from stating as well... (note to self - be less vague on blog) Anyway, it's really awesome having people to talk my story over with. I've gotten some really awesome feedback on improvements to make and what's already working well. I just want to get it flowing enough to have a few people start reading it...or at least the beginning of it. I like feedback.

If I were more tech savvy I'd have a link to a page where you could all view my stuff, but it just seems like a really overwhelmingly complicated thing to figure out right now...I'll ask my all-time computer savvy brother and we'll set something up. I've had many requests from gathering fans to reveal my fantastic writing, can't let down the fans :)

Alright, so I exaggerate (a little ;) Wow. So I think I'm on day...3...day 3 of not buying or 'acquiring' any books... hmm...interesting... but honestly I think I'm on target for having 365 new books by the end of the year... that's just nutty. - new as in books I didn't already have...not just new books I've purchased... I might cut back. Maybe it's just a June thing, you know, birthday...books... they go together quite nicely. I don' t think I'll buy any more at least until I've finished all the ones I just bought, which should take me a while.

I'm currenlty reading Dragonslippers by Jessica Day George...feeling bad that I haven't already read it as I just love her and she's such a fun awesome person to be around. And, I Love her book! It seriously is great! I was reading it at night only so as not to have nightmares from reading Koontz at night and now I've switched to pounding it during the day and I should have it finished...maybe by tomorrow night.

Okay, Jessica, I woke up at 5:30 yesterday morning and couldn't get back to sleep and read a lengthy portion of the book. I'm really quite into it and find myself picturing all the places and people so many times during the day and I'm really quite distressed about what's going to happen!! I just want it all to turn out okay! :) Brilliant!

(Does Jessica even read my blog? ...probably not...)

Alright, time to get back to work.
Ciao!

Butterscotch and Chocolate

2008-06-11T15:47:00.000-07:00

Swiss cheese makes it all better too.
I guess I should take Dashner's advice and apply it to other important people too. Only I feel if I did that I'd end up writing about absolutely nothing because I'd be so worried about who would read it. Or maybe I should just first read Kevin Alexander's article on blogging posted some months ago in the Writer's Digest. In any case maybe I'll just not worry about it for now.

Having said that, the job I wanted so much...lets just say it didn't come through this time around. But I'll not lose hope, I'll keep checking as recommended and see what other things pop up that they may be hiring for. The perfect position would be in that one section, maybe that will come through.

Anyway, I'll stop blogging in obscurities. I have to laugh at the two people who voted yes they've read the series. Or maybe I'll just laugh at myself in that I'm still the only one so far who's admitted to dressing up for the Harry Potter book release parties! Come on! You've gotta dress up! One time I went as just a general witch (book 5), and my daughter, who was... 1 1/2 at the time... I dressed her up as Winky, complete with giant fuzzy ears. The last time (book 7) I went as Rita Skeeter, so appropriate to my profession, don't you think? :) Though people I interview don't hide from me. That's a good sign, right?

I still absolutely cannot remember purchasing my book 6. I can't remember where I lived, what I was doing, who I was with or how I got it...It's possible I dressed up for that one too...even probable.

I'm looking forward to the day when I can hang out at a cafe and my children can hang out with me and actually appreciate the calm of the atmosphere...having said that, I don't like the idea of them growing up at all though. ...with everything comes a cost, right?

I really came here to research an article for IW homework. Guess I'll do that and get out of here rather quickly so as to not annoy everybody. Lily spilled her water and it only Just missed my computer...that was too close.

I'm still averaging a book every other day...though it may be more like 2 books every other day now, which, wouldn't that be a book a day? It's got to stop soon, don't you think? They're just so great!

Speaking of books! I finally discovered Sam Weller's today!! Eric, my apologies, I should have gone with you that day. I have to say, I was almost overwhelmed, not only by the number of books, but I'm absolutely used to Barnes and Noble; whether that can be deemed as acceptable by the general populace or not. I really really love brand new books. I love the way they smell, look, feel...their stiffness waiting to be broken.....okay....getting carried away a little now. Sam Weller's is really amazing though! I will be back there. Plus they have free WiFi. One up on B&N.

So now to research my stuff. The internet just wasn't like it is now when I was in school before. It's so easy to find answers to Everything! I remember it used to be I'd search for something and always find a close answer, but still not the one I wanted. Now it's exact. It's really amazing!

Sluffing or Excused?

2008-06-09T11:52:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, I'm a little miffed. One of my professors today didn't show up for class today! If we didn't show up for class, three times that's ten percent of our grade...but if they don't show? Not only did he not show today, but our first class was only a half hour - normally an hour and a half class. I guess I won't label him as a slacker just yet, but it's disturbing when your professor is less reliable than the worst of the students in the class...

I even did most of the reading assignment - the first hundred pages of our book! I have less than twenty left and am now wishing I hadn't stayed up so late this weekend struggling to finish. The rest will seem like a breeze this afternoon. Oh well, no homework on top of that, so I ought not complain.

Since there's no class, I'm at the library, updating my blog and avoiding those twenty pages. I could be working on my Harry Potter presentation, a ten minute thing on how the series has revolutionized children's lit. Perfect for me, huh? Seeing as how I've read the first four books no less than twenty times, the fifth three or four, the sixth twice, and the seventh once. Yes I do read other stuff too.

Why do I always feel like I'm being watched whenever I'm at the library...especially walking around... does anyone else ever feel that way? They have it set up so the people at the tables on the sides can see the people in the elevators and some people on each floor...there's people everywhere...! (just don't think about it...just don't think about it....) no, I'm not psychotic and yes, for the most part I like people very much...I guess if there's still any chance I might be working here I better get used to it...the openess, I mean...

Either way, time for lunch!
Ciao!

What Am I Thinking??

2008-06-04T12:40:00.000-07:00

It's official! As Monday was my birthday I'm now two days into being 26!
I'm at what has to be the craziest point in my life yet! Lets just say, I never thought I'd be HERE at 26! But hey, it's not ...what? Life threatening or anything, I guess, so that's good, right? And life's getting better and better! Saying things can only get better from this point on would entirely be true...at least I hope.

Today's been better. Actually, today has been a great day! Today is a mark in my life even bigger than my birthday two days ago. I Started School Today!! Woohoo! Finally! I've been planning on going back to school for...well, maybe 4 years now. I've even registered a couple of times, just never committed enough to fully enroll in classes. It's one of those things where I've said, maybe Fall would be better than Spring...maybe some other time would be more convenient. Then it hit me, at my age school will never be convenient, only a requirement if I say so. So this time I've made it a personal requirement! And I had my very first class today, Intermediate Writing!

I admit I have major misgivings. (haha) One. It's summer school, so 4 months of stuff crammed into 2! Two. Assignments galore! I'll be doing assignments on top of assignments. Three. Everything Else in My Life!! But it's cool. I can do it, I'll get it done. (just breathe!) I'll learn lots of cool stuff and be on my way to getting some kind of degree. The goal is a major in creative writing, minor in journalism, though people tell me I should switch the two. Frankly, I believe there's not much money in either, unless I decide differently. So far writing has been rather lucrative for me and I plan to always have it be that way.

So what did I do for my birthday? My second favorite thing: I had my Second interview at the Main Public Library! I feel it went very well! An hour of talking about why I'd Love that job!! It was very fun!

My first favorite thing? Well, that's hard to say. It's a toss up between eating breakfast with Lochlan (my four year old) at Cup o' Joes (he was very cute, sitting right with me enjoying his muffin) and going out to dinner with four of my very best girlfriends! The waitress even brought me a delicious slice of chocolate mousse cake, complete with pink candle! :)
I feel that being with very best friends in groups like that should Definitely happen more than just once a year!

If this blog has seemed choppy it's cuz I'm at Cup o' Joes (yes, I go here a lot!) only this time I've got both of my lovely children with me. They're playing chess on the pool table...yeah, we'll get kicked out any minute now...I can feel it coming. Time to Leave!

Write On, Writer Friends!! :)
To you non-writers...Right On!! :)

My Not-So-Secret Obsession

2008-05-31T17:51:00.000-07:00

So I realized today, with yet another trip to Barnes and Noble, I'm seriously obsessed with books! I guess all of you reading this are saying "Wow, Really??" Because all of you know me and probably already know this to be true of me. ...But for myself, I think I've suddenly realized it on a whole new level. New to the point of dangerous...

Pretty much in exactly two months, 60 days, I've collected roughly 30 new books. That's not really an exaggeration, folks. That doesn't mean I've bought that many, I've just...acquired that many, through choice and personal attraction...I guess you could say...

So lets do the math on that, and please correct me because, as math is my nemesis, I'm sure to be wrong, but wouldn't that equal, on average, a book every other day?

Wow. Alright, so this part I asked my brother the answer for (what can I say? It made my brain hurt) ...If I stayed on that track for a whole year, collecting a new book every other day, my total of new books at the end of the year would be ... 182.5 !!

I'd end up with 182 and a half books...I don't exactly know what that half would equal...a picture book maybe? Or Stardust minus it's cover? Or my copy of Les Mis which is literally torn in half? I dunno. But that's A Lot of books! [secretly planning this to be my new life's goal]

Anybody know any Books Anonymous groups? We could form one, who's with me?? It could be called BAG and would probably go something like:

"Hi, My name is...I'd rather not say... I've been collecting books since I was a child...people would give them to me and my parents had no problem with me buying them whenever I felt like it. My friends can't understand why I can't stop touching them whenever I see them and they're all over my room... I use them to go to sleep at night, or zone out with during the day, maybe it's their seemingly-hallucinogenic nature...I just can't seem to get enough of them, especially when things are really bad...that's when I feel I need them the most."

But come on, in reality they are just books, right? Nothing wrong with that. I don't have a book problem. Do you??

As a side note, in Dean Koontz's words, a nemesis cannot be beaten. An adversary can...Maybe it's time to refer to math as my adversary rather than my nemesis...I might do better in school that way.

Another One Bites the Dust

2008-05-30T10:52:00.000-07:00

I'm soooo glad I didn't spend all that money getting my car professionally cleaned! Yes. Friends were complaining at how repulsively disgusting it had become...at least one friend anyway, who I'll refrain from naming. But you know who you are! : ) Good thing I didn't listen to you! (and yes, for those of you wondering, I am too dang lazy to clean it myself. But really, when it's That bad...who wouldn't be?)

Okay, so, why am I glad?? The transmission completely went out on it. My second Subaru that's been mine is now officially gone. So, so long to Charlie all over again and so long to this nameless piece of trash that was never good. At least Charlie was a really great car. First cars are always great. Charlie Never stopped running. In the end the windows wouldn't go up, the glove box wouldn't stay in and he smelled like wet dog all the time. He was sold to the kids across the street for fifty bucks and they took him to the sand dunes of St. George and shot him mercilessly. But that was when we were still living down there.

No, this piece of trash car died in Bountiful, the day I took my kids to the museum, actually. We found ourselves stranded, at a bakery! See, now that's lemonade!! Only, I guess you could say the lemonade came in the form of sweet sweet orange rolls and a tray of very pretty cookies. : )

So anyway. I'm getting myself a bike and officially becoming an inner-city dweller who'll ride public transportation and...my bike. In truth I don't feel coordinated enough for a bike ...especially one for a city. But I will get over that, I'm sure. Just like I get over everything else: by shopping at bakeries and eating chocolate ice cream, and reading, of course.

Speaking of public transportation, today I spent all day riding Trax to and from various places, but not without purpose. And now I'm topping it all off with a visit to my favorite downtown hangout, Cup o' Joes. I wiled away the time with my newest Dean Koontz novel, Velocity. I'm still not very sure of how I feel about Koontz, his style's good, but he's a little predictable and his favorite room in the house seems to always be the kitchen. Dashner, you could ask him for me if that's true. You know, if the two of you run out of conversation Sunday. For those of you who don't know, Dashner gets to meet Neil Gaiman, Judy Blume, and Dean Koontz all in one weekend - at the BEA in LA. Lucky Dawg! Gosh, some day when I'm a famous writer (realistically 5 years from now) I'll be sitting at some spectacular thing with JK Rowling. So There!!

Having said that, I better get to work on my novel that I had planned to spend the entire weekend working on!

Fun Times

2008-05-28T13:18:00.000-07:00

I'm really excited about the response my new hobby of blogging has received! I'm especially happy to announce that J. Scott Savage himself has invited me and my new blog to join his blog tour, set up to promote his upcoming novel, the first in the Farworld series! I suppose that invite is pretty well open to most people, but I feel special anyway :) So, expect to be seeing more with that around August maybe; i.e. an interview with him and a review of his book, and some kind of spectacular contest where one of you will be able to win a personalized advanced copy of his book! Coolness!

So for fun today I met up with my sister-in-law and we took our kids to the Discovery Museum at Gateway! The kids loved it. I was reminded of how amazing 4-year-olds are at wandering off. One minute my little boy was there, the next he was gone...repeatedly; though I found him mostly over in the gift shop playing with those really cool gooballs...or something...you know, the ones that squish and the bubbles come out ...yeah...that's all I'm saying about that.

I'm realizing how little I understand about blogging. I suppose it's pretty easy to figure out and I feel I'm picking up on things pretty quickly...but if I do something stupid with it, lemme know and I'll keep in mind not to do it again. Do you like the pink? I'm not sure how I feel about the pink. Truthfully it's not my favorite shade, but I've been thinking about having a site somewhere called Suzy-Q and I just always pictured it to be pink. So my apologies for those for whom it makes ill.

Now to discuss Monk. My most favorite show in the world is Monk. If you're a fan too, leave a comment of your favorite episode. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, it's the show where the guy's a detective who's got OCD and he uses it to solve his cases. He just cracks me up! I especially like the one where there's a painting of a spilled wine glass and he's trying to turn it back the right way. In the end I think he blurts out, "can't they just paint over it!" Control-Z
comes to mind. (Kudos to Eric Swedin for teaching me about Control-Z!)

Well, anyway, I think that just goes to show I've run out of anything remotely useful to comment about. Catch me at the end of the week, things might be more exciting then.

Does anyone know?? When is the next fairly local writer's event/conference/Anything?? Do I really have to wait for Round Up in September? Anyone know of any fun book signings or launch parties...or anything?? Ooh. Rick Walton talks about that writer's week at BYU in June...maybe I'll look that up. Anyone know the name for it?

WoW!! So June is like Next Week!! Oh my gosh! In my head it's still two months away...isn't it weird when that happens? Like you hear a month and you picture it being so far away and then it's like time rushes forward and there it is - next week! Okay, so I need to find out about that quickly then...

Write On!! : )

My New Blog! How Exciting!

2008-05-26T15:51:00.000-07:00

I just finished up another weekend of hanging out with local authors! Lucky me! The price for that was being labeled as a Sci-Fi Junkie, Trekky, or Geek, by those who know me and were less fortunate in going to the Sci-Fi convention, ConDuit, held right here in Salt Lake. And no, I don't consider myself any of those things. Thank you very much : )

But I do consider myself lucky to see and hang out with so many Fabulous authors! You know, the great ones, like Jessica Day George, Julie Wright, James Dashner, L.E. Modesitt, Eric Swedin. I really missed seeing Jeff Savage though, and Sara Zarr, but I got to see her the weekend before along with Rick Walton and several others at the Children's Book Festival in Provo! That was a lot of fun.

I guess you could say one of the major highlights of this weekend would include meeting Mette Ivie Harrison, author of The Princess and the Hound. I enjoyed lunch with her, and several of the other authors previously mentioned, on Saturday. Before leaving, she personalized a paperback copy of her book to me. It made me feel very special and excited to add another special book to my collection of signed books. (and I get to be one of the first to receive her paperback edition as they officially get released in stores tomorrow!!)

I'm very proud of my collection of signed books as it takes up a whole shelf in my library and includes seasoned authors Marc Brown and Dick King Smith, as well as newer great ones, like Brandon Mull, and pretty much all the authors previously mentioned.

And yes, I am very proud to be able to actually say I own my own library! It consists of four bookcases (but is growing rapidly) and I have actual sections, such as all my cookbooks, how-to books, magazines (the Writer's Digest mainly - 3 or 4 years worth of those : ) Newspaper archives (The Mount Desert Islander!) young adult fiction, picture books, adult fantasy, adult fiction, and of course, my own 20 + journals from high school and beyond! (And yes, I realize it doesn't equal Eric Swedin's library of 32 book cases, but he's much older than I am. I still have time to catch up : )

Speaking of libraries, I applied for a job as Library Assistant at the main Salt Lake Library!! I really really hope I get it. I had an interview Friday that I feel went very well. So, wish me luck!

I guess I could update those of you who don't know. I've moved to Down Town Salt Lake! woohoo. I should have an apartment by the end of this week for myself and my little ones, and I start school next Wednesday! I'll be going to SLCC very part time taking intro to communications and intermediate writing...we'll see how that goes. (any questions on any of that, feel free to email me : )

My favorite hangouts in Salt Lake include Cup o' Joes and the Cathedral of the Madeleine... I think that's how it's spelled... favorite bookstores up here include the Golden Braid and The King's English; I'll always be partial to Barnes and Noble, however, having worked there for a recent span. (I Loved my job at B&N!! It was very fun!)

So anyway, that's what's new with me...please comment, I seriously believe nobody reads these things and I hate feeling like I'm talking to myself : ) I have enough voices in my head, most of which I write down so others can hear them too : ) ...you know the ones.

Have a Fantastic Memorial Day!!